The Only Reset
by 348joey
Summary: Probably the biggest thing I've ever written. It's mostly a humorous commentary from Frisk and Chara of the Pacifist run with a few changes. The story will mostly be the same as normal, but with a little Charisk (Male Frisk, female Chara), slightly different actions from Frisk and Chara based on their foreknowledge, and an ominous secret serving as a motivation for Frisk resetting.
1. Prologue

Prologue

* * *

Obligatory, skippable author's note:

Regular text: First person narration from Frisk's P.o.V.

 _Italicized: Frisk's thoughts_

 _Asterisk and in parentheses: *(Chara's thoughts)_

"Quoted text": "Spoken dialogue"

*Asterisk: *Sign text

I have edited some of the in-game dialogue. It's mostly spelling and grammar-related things, but I do keep most of Sans's text lowercase, since I believe that he is so lazy he doesn't even bother to capitalize most of what he says.

As with my other stories, this one will have a male Alphys. He acts pretty much the same as normal though.

Frisk is male, and Chara is female and not evil. They can hear each other's "verbal" thoughts, that is, any thought that uses words. Charisk, though it is not the focus of the story, just an aspect of it.

Now, on with it already:

* * *

"Are you sure about this, Frisk?"  
"There isn't much of a choice."

"you remember the code word I gave you, kid?"  
"Yes, Sans, I remember, and I would like to repeat that it is a completely juvenile phrase."

"well, I was a juvenile when I came up with it, so I guess it fits."  
"Whatever."

"GOOD LUCK, FRISK!"  
"Thanks, Papyrus. I'll try to bring back a souvenir for you."

"Frisk… if you go back… and I don't remember, or if I'm not there…"  
"I know, Chara. I love you too."

"I guess this is it then. Goodbye, everyone. Hopefully I'll see you all soon."


	2. Chapter 1: Back to the Past

**UNDERTALE**

 **Chapter 1: Back to the Past**

 _I purge the filth from the land. The battle is short but brutal. None survives the assault. All that remains is dust._

 _"_ _Good riddance."_

* * *

I wake up at the bottom of a hole. My head is spinning, and I ache all over. Nothing's broken, but much is bruised. I'm on a bed of flowers in a large cavern with a single stream of light coming from above.

 _Well, here we are again. It seems the timeline didn't crash from the reset._

 _*(Looks like it.)_

 _Oh, good. You retained your memories too._

 _*(Yep.)_

 _That's a relief. Now I'll at least know that I'm not crazy and didn't just imagine the last—well, next—ten years._

 _*(Right, because hearing a voice in your head means that you're_ not _crazy.)_

 _Oh hush, you!_

 _Anyway, let's get started then. First stop, your homicidal goat bro.  
_  
I pick up a nearby stick and go through the only exit available into a room with a little yellow smiling flower in the middle.

"Howdy! I'm FLOWEY. FLOWEY the FLOWER! Hee hee hee… Why'd you make me introduce myself?"

 _What?_

"It's rude to act like you don't know who I am."

 _Does he remember too?!_

"Someone ought to teach your some proper manners."

 _*(I don't think so. He's not acting quite the same. Even without a soul again, he wouldn't be like this.)_

 _The radiation corrupted my save file; I'm not surprised that it wasn't a perfect RESET. We should be careful._

 _*(Right. Anyway, I think he's about up to the part where he attacks.)_

 _Ugh. This is gonna suck._

 _*(Actually, you can probably just dodge his attacks. That should stall him long enough for Toriel to get here.)_

 _Yeah, but if she doesn't see him attacking me, she might not intervene._

 _*(It's worth a try.)_

 _I guess so._

"Move around! Get as many as you can!"

I dodge the incoming pellets.

"Hey buddy, you missed them. Let's try again, okay?"

I dodge the pellets again.

"Is this a joke? Are you braindead? RUN. INTO. THE. BULLETS!"

 _*(He never was very good at hiding things.)_

"Pellets! I meant 'friendliness pellets'."

 _So I see._

I dodge the bullets a third time. Flowey's face morphs from a happy smile into an evil-looking visage.

"You know what's going on here, don't you? You just wanted to see me suffer."

 _Um, shouldn't Toriel have been here by now?_

Pellets appear all around my soul. I'm trapped.

 **"Die."**

 _Crap. I haven't even saved yet! I don't want to risk another reset; there's no telling what will happen if I have to do that again!_

Flowey makes a horrible laughing sound as the pellets close in on me. Just as they are about to hit me, Toriel's magic neutralizes the attack and launches a fireball at Flowey.

 _*(She certainly has a dramatic sense of timing.)_

 _More like a traumatic sense of timing…_

"What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth. Ah, do not be afraid, my child. I am TORIEL, caretaker of the RUINS. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first human to come here in a long time. Come! I will guide you through the catacombs."

My soul returns to my body as I leave the FIGHT.

"This way."

 _I guess that all worked out, but I still want to reach a SAVE point as soon as I can._

 _*(I think there's one just ahead.)_

I follow Toriel into the next room and, to my relief, there is indeed a save point near the base of the steps. I touch the glowing yellow star.

*(The shadow of the ruins looms above, filling you with determination.)

"Welcome to your new home, innocent one."

 _*(Right, "innocent".)_

 _Hey! I was just defending my country from an invasion!_

 _*(That wasn't an invading army, Frisk; they were a marching band.)_

 _All I know is that they were in foreign uniforms and marching in the street. They should've known better._

"Allow me to educate you in the operation of the RUINS."

Toriel steps on the four plates most to the left and right in a counterclockwise pattern.

"The RUINS are full of puzzles,"

 _That are so simple a child could figure them out…_

"ancient fusions between diversions and door keys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them."

 _Wee… puzzles…_

 _*(I thought you liked puzzles?)_

 _I do, but not if they're_ this _easy, and Toriel even solves them for us!_

 _*(I suppose that's true.)_

 _Oh well. It's not like I RESET for fun anyway._

"To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches. Do not worry; I have labeled the ones that you need to flip."

She walks ahead while I linger a moment to read the nearby sign.

*"Press [Z] to read signs!"

 _What the heck is this sign even talking about?!_

 _*(I don't know. Maybe the writer was crazy?)_

 _Even if he was insane and thought there was a "Z button", putting the instructions detailing how to read a sign on a sign is ridiculous! You wouldn't be able to read it unless you already knew how!_

 _*(Maybe it's supposed to be a joke?)_

 _It'd have to be. It's like putting "DO NOT READ" on a sign._

 _*(Or "see back" on a billboard)_

 _I should totally do that when we get out of here! How much do billboards cost to rent?_

 _*(Stay focused, Frisk.)_

 _Fine, fine. I'll look it up later._

Moving on, I walk up to the switch near Toriel and press it. The bridge to the next area appears.

 _We could've easily jumped over that water. Or swam._

 _*(It's actually not very deep, so you wouldn't have been able to swim in it.)_

 _So who's this supposed to stop? A blind person in a wheelchair that disintegrates when it touches water?_

After I cross the bridge, I see the next two switches on the nearby wall. The switch on the left has many arrows pointing drawn on the wall to it.

"Go on; press the switch on the left."

 _I wonder what the other switch does._

 _*(Either it summons a horrible monster that eats you, or it doesn't do anything at all.)_

 _Ooh, sounds like fun!_

 _*(Oodles.)_

I try to pull the switch on the right.

"No, no, no! You want to press the other switch. I even labeled it for you…"

 _I don't know, Toriel. That left one seems a little_ too _obvious._

 _*(Just pull the lever, Frisk…)_

 _Fine._

I pull the correct switch this time, and the spikes blocking the exit lower into the floor.

"Splendid! I am proud of you, little one."

 _Your mom is easily impressed._

 _*(I know, right?)_

"Let us move to the next room."

The next room has a training dummy in it but not much else.

"As a human living in the UNDERGROUND, monsters may attack you. You will need to be prepared for this situation. However, worry not! The process is simple. When you encounter a monster, you will enter a FIGHT. While you are in a FIGHT, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict."

 _She's really bad at teaching kids independence. "Stall until someone else comes to save you" isn't very good advice for resolving a fight in the UNDERGROUND… or anywhere else for that matter._

 _*(Yeah, her idea of testing independence is making you walk down an empty hallway by yourself.)_

"Practice talking to the dummy."

I walk up to the training dummy.

"What's up dummy? How's your crazy cousin doing?"

"…"

 _*(It doesn't seem much for conversation.)_

 _I don't know why. His cousins were all pretty talkative._

 _*(TORIEL seems happy with you.)_

 _*(YOU WON!)_

 _*(You earned 0 XP and 0 gold.)_

"Ah, very good! You are very good."

 _Yeah, I can hold a one-sided conversation with a dummy._

 _*(At least he's good at listening.)_

 _Actually, I have a feeling he would float away if I talked too much. Besides, I prefer your company over his._

 _*(So, I'm better to have around than an inanimate stick figure? Wow, Frisk, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.)_

 _Aw, you don't need my help for that._

After that aside, I walk into the next room where Toriel is waiting.

"There is another puzzle in this room… I wonder if you can solve it."

 _Maybe if you actually let me…_

On our way to the puzzle, a Froggit appears and starts a FIGHT.

 _*(Froggit attacks you!)_

CHECK

 _*(FROGGIT – ATK 4 DEF 5)_

 _*(Life is difficult for this enemy.)_

 _How is its life difficult?_

 _*(I'm not at liberty to say…)_

 _If you say so._

Toriel noticed that we entered a fight. Rather than throwing fireballs at it, Toriel just gives the froggit an intimidating look. The froggit looks down in shame and ends the fight.

 _*(YOU WON!)_

 _*(You earned 0 XP and 0 gold.)_

After the Froggit leaves, Toriel and I continue to a room with spikes all over a floor with water flanking both of its sides.

"This is the puzzle, but… Here, take my hand for a moment."

Toriel leads me through the spike floor while holding onto my hand.

 _Normally I'd be upset for her just solving the puzzle for us, but I have to agree with her on this one. Those spikes look rather dangerous._

 _*(You probably would've just cheated and gone around anyway.)_

 _True, but I wouldn't call it "cheating". There are no rules that say you have to go through the deadly spike maze._

 _*(Technicality.)_

 _That's my favorite way to win!_

"Puzzles seem a little too dangerous for now."

We enter the next room, a very long hallway with pillar supports every few yards.

"You have done excellently thus far, my child."

 _I've done nothing but flip two switches and follow you around._

"However… I have a difficult request to ask of you. …I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourself. Forgive me for this."

Toriel then rushes down the long hallway and "hides" behind a pillar. I follow after her until I near the end of the hallway. I poke Toriel's side when I get to the pillar she thinks she's hiding behind.

"Oh, greetings, my child. Do not worry; I did not leave you. I was merely behind this pillar the whole time."

"Yeah, I know. I could see you from the other end of the hallway. You weren't even hiding on the right side."

 _*(Mom's a bit weird.)_

 _It's like the switch puzzle all over again. Did the people who built this not realize that we can just look on the other sides of pillars?_

"Thank you for trusting me."

 _Not that you gave me a choice in the matter._

"However, there was an important reason for this exercise. It was to test your independence. I must attend to some business, and you must stay alone for a while. Please remain here."

 _She's leaving a child unattended in a hall surrounded by hostile monsters just so she can surprise me with a pie._

 _*(To be fair, the monsters never entered this hallway last time. Maybe she told the Froggit out there to keep other monsters from entering?)_

 _That's a bit of a stretch, but I suppose it's possible._

"It's dangerous to explore by yourself. I have an idea. I will give you a CELL PHONE."

 _It's dangerous to go alone! Take this._

 _*(Nerd.)_

"If you have a need for anything, just call. Be good, alright?"

Toriel leaves me alone to go shopping for pie ingredients.

 _So, should we wait around until the dog steals her phone again or just continue on right away?_

 _*(She did tell you to stay put, but it'd be boring to just wait here for an hour. Maybe the cellphone has some games on it?)_

 _I doubt it, but Toriel didn't give us a manual, so I don't know. I'll call and ask her._

I dial the only number saved on the phone. It rings once before Toriel answers.

"Hello? This is TORIEL."

"Toriel, I'm bored. Does this phone have any games on it or anything?"

"I'm afraid not. I should have given a book to you. My apologies. Why not use your imagination to divert yourself? Pretend you are… a monarch! Rule over the leaf pile with a fist of iron. Can you do that for me?"

"Sure, Toriel. Thanks, I'll see you later!"

I hang up the phone.

 _Well, the leave pile is in the next room, so the only way to begin my reign is to go there._

 _*(You're just using that as an excuse.)_

 _Indeed, I am._

Immediately after leaving the hall, my phone rings.

"Yes?"

"You have not left the room, have you? There are a few puzzles ahead that I have yet to explain. It would be dangerous to try to solve them yourself."

 _Huh. Last time, she only called after she got her phone back from the dog._

 _*(It's like she can just_ feel _when you leave the room.)_

 _Weird._

"Don't worry, Toriel. I've only done what you told me to do."

 _*(Liar.)_

 _It's technically true!_

 _*(It's still lying.)_

"Oh, good. Well, stay safe, my child. I will be back in no time."

In the next room, I walk by a Froggit that seems content to leave me alone to get to my new kingdom.

"Tremble before me, peons! I have come to subjugate you and your lands into my dominion! Surrender now or face my wrath!"

Some of the leaves on the pile dare to oppose my rule, but I quickly quash the rebellion and capture their leaders. I then arrange the defiant leaves in front of the pile and crush them into powder for all to see. Nothing but the veins and midribs remain of the dissidents.

 _That should serve as an example to the remaining leaves. No one will dare to question my rule!_

 _*(I'm so glad you never gained political power beyond an ambassador.)_

 _What? I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire!_

 _*(_ Your _new empire?!)_

 _Fine,_ our _new empire. You can be my beautiful queen of darkness._

 _*(That's better.)_

 _Now we may go subjugate the vile oak leaves that live in the other parts of the RUINS. Onward!_

 _*(Beginning your campaign of terror fills you with determination.)_

As I continue through the RUINS, most monsters seem to leave me alone.

 _I think I might have scared the other monsters with my war crimes and cruelty._

 _*(War crimes?)_

 _My crimes against botany._

 _*(Ah. I'm sure they'll be fine.)_

I continue to the next room. There's a small line of cracked floor across the middle of the room. I get a running start and jump from one side of the floor…

…and fall onto the cracked floor which then crumbles and sends me down into the bottom of the pit.

 _Ow. I forgot how short my legs were._

 _*(How about you just do the puzzles the right way for now?)_

 _Agreed._

I climb up into the hole in the wall that has a stairway leading back up to the other side of the room I had fallen from.

 _Monsters really don't understand the concept of a "trap". Having a convenient exit door sort of negates its usefulness._

 _(Well, it'd probably at least keep an adult trapped down here with how small the exit is.)_

 _Yeah, but an adult would at best just get his foot stuck in the hole momentarily, and at worst just walk over it. It'd also make him more aware of the suspicious foliage covering the floors in other areas.)_

The next room has a line of floor spikes going through the middle, along with a rock and a pressure plate on the side I'm on.

 _How did Toriel get past this without pushing the rock on the pressure plate? How is anyone supposed to set this trap without being stuck on the other side?_

 _*(You're overthinking things again, Frisk.)_

 _*sigh* You're right. You know, sometimes I think that, without you, I'd spend all day obsessing over the ambient light in the UNDERGROUND that seems to come from nowhere._

 _*(Well, someone needs to keep you focused.)_

As I enter the room, Toriel calls me again.

"Hello? This is TORIEL. For no reason in particular, which do you prefer, cinnamon or butterscotch? …wait. Do not tell me. Is it Cinnamon?"

"Um, yeah."

"Hee hee hee. I had a feeling. When humans fall down here, strangely I often feel like I already know them. Truthfully, when I first saw you, I felt like I was seeing an old friend for the first time. Strange, is it not? Well, thank you for your selection."

 _That was weird. I'm starting to get worried about how much the timeline has been corrupted. Some things seem to have leaked through from the future._

 _*(At least it hasn't been anything too major yet.)_

 _I guess we just have to hope it stays that way._

I barely make two more steps forward before Toriel calls again.

"Hello? This is TORIEL."

 _I think I can recognize your voice by now, Toriel, even if we weren't the only two people in the RUINS with a cellphone._

"You do not _dislike_ butterscotch, do you? I know what your preference is, but would you turn up your nose if you found it on your plate?"

"No, it's fine. Also, for no reason in particular, I wanted to mention that I don't have any allergies."

 _Might as well get that call out of the way too._

"Right, right, I understand. Thank you for being patient, by the way."

I push the rock onto the switch pad to lower the spikes and move onward to the next room.

The next room's floor is all cracked past the first fourth of the room. As I make my way there, a Moldsmal appears in front of me.

 _*(Moldsmal blocked the way!)_

ACT→Moldsmal→Check

 _*(MOLDSMAL – ATK 6 DEF 0)_

 _*(Stereotypical: Curvaceously attractive, but no brains…)_

ACT→Moldsmal→Flirt

"Hey, girl! Those are some sexy curves you have there! How about you come down to my place and we can jiggle all night long." ~.0

 _*(…)_

ACT→Moldsmal→Flirt

I wiggle my hips at the moldsmal who then wiggles back. Chara is less than pleased.

 _*(What a meaningful conversation…)_

"*Sexy wiggle*"

ACT→Moldsmal→Fl—

 _*(Frisk, don't make me hurt you.)_

 _You're incorporeal. How are you going to hurt me?_

 _*(_ _ **I will**_ **find** ** _a way._** _)_

 _Hah, okay, sorry, sorry. You're cute when you're jealous._

 _–_ _more like, "gelatinous"._

 _Sans, get out of here! You're not even in the story yet!_

"Squorch…"

In response to my flirting, the moldsmal shoots spores into the air above me which then float down towards me. I dodge the somehow deadly spores.

 _Okay, that's enough messing around._

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)_

 _*(You earned 0 XP and 1 gold.)_

Back out of the fight, I am once again confronted by the cracked floor.

 _Okay, I don't remember exactly where the pathway is, but I'd rather not fall down to find out._

I take out my stick and poke the ground in front of me as I move forward. The stick sometimes brakes through, but when it doesn't, I know I can safely travel on that space. I eventually manage to get near the other side of the room, until I see it. There's a pile of vile oak leaves under a sign on the wall.

 **"OAK LEAVES."**

I purge the filth from the land. The battle is short but brutal. None survives the assault. All that remains is dust.

"Good riddance."

I glance up at the sign above the remains of my foes.

*"Didn't you read the sign downstairs?"

 _What did that sign say again?_

 _*(I think it said, "Please don't step on the leaves.")_

 _Clearly, this was just a piece of oak propaganda intended to delay their inevitable demise. Still, I wonder how they managed to gain such a strong foothold this far into the RUINS. Someone must have been supplying them…_

After my bloodlust (chlorophyll-lust?) is satiated, I head into the next room. This room is almost identical to the room before the last one, but there are now three rocks and switches instead of just one.

 _Oh, now there are three rocks! How challenging! Please, a blind idiot could solve either of those puzzles._

 _*(Well, it still would've taken the theoretical blind idiot longer to figure this one out than the other one.)_

After I push the first rock into place, a pair of froggits attacks!

 _*(A pair of Froggits hops towards you.)_

ACT→Froggit A→Compliment

"I love how your skeletal structure is on the inside of your body!"

 _*(Froggit didn't understand what you said, but was flattered anyway.)_

 _*(Frisk, monsters don't have internal body parts; they're made out of magic.)_

 _I know, but it doesn't really matter what I say since they can't understand me anyway._

The first froggit blushes deeply, while the other froggit… meows?

 _I'm not even going to question that._

I dodge their simple attacks and spare the first froggit, which I have lovingly named, "Froggit A".

"Hop. Hop."

 _*(You are intimidated by Froggit's raw strength.)_

ACT→Froggit B→Threaten

"Listen here, buddy. If I find out that you've been secretly aiding the oaks in that last room, I'll—I'll reset your UnderTube favorites library!"

 _*(Froggit didn't understand what you said, but was scared anyway.)_

 _*(It's always weird to hear what you consider to be a threat.)_

 _You were always better at that than me._

 _*(Coming from anyone else, I'd consider that an insult, but from you, I know it's a genuine compliment.)_

"Shiver, shiver."

 _*(Froggit seems reluctant to fight you.)_

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)_

 _*(You earned 0 XP and 4 gold.)_

After the FIGHT, I push the second rock onto its pad. My threat to the Froggit was so intimidating, it seems even the third rock didn't give any fuss about moving onto the pad, though that might just be because I asked it to move nicely instead of attempting to push it myself.

"Excuse me, Mr. Rock, but would you mind moving onto that pad over there and staying there until I cross to the other side of the bridge?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely, sure!"

 _*(You're not going to question the sentient rock?)_

 _Nah, it might be like a hermit crab and have something living inside the rock or something. That was my theory for the rock family in Snowdin._

The next room is rather small. There's just a mouse hole in the wall, a SAVE point, and a table with some stale cheese on it.

 _Hm, is stale food dangerous?_

 _*(Why? Are you really_ that _hungry?)_

 _No, I'm just worried that the mouse might get sick from it._

 _*(Don't worry, it just tastes bad. As long as it doesn't have mold or anything like that on it, it should be safe—if unpleasant—to eat.)_

 _Oh, good!_

I touch the SAVE star.

 _*(Knowing that the mouse's health is secure fills you with determination.)_

Down the hallway to the next room, I see a familiar ghost not sleeping on a pile of leaves.

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

"zzzzzzzzzz…"

"(Are they gone yet?)"

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

 _*(This ghost keeps saying 'z' out loud repeatedly, pretending to sleep.)_

 _I could easily walk around him. I could probably also walk through him, being incorporeal and everything._

 _*(We need to make friends.)_

 _I guess. Okay, into battle we go. To the mattresses!_

 _*(…)_

 _Get it? Cause we're going into battle, and he's pretending to be asle—_

 _*(I get it, Frisk; it just wasn't funny.)_

 _Party-pooper._

I try moving the ghost by force, and the FIGHT begins.

 _*(Here comes Napstablook.)_

ACT→Napstablook→Check

 _*(NAPSTABLOOK - ATK 10 DEF 10)_

 _*(This monster doesn't seem to have a sense of humor…)_

"Oh, I'm REAL funny."

 _*(Oh yeah, he can hear me even without a body.)_

 _Is that because you're both kind of ghosts?_

 _*(I guess.)_

 _It's a good thing he can. Last time around, it was a huge relief to know I wasn't just imagining your voice, or if I was, then at least someone else down here was crazy too._

I dodge Napstablook's tears.

 _Do all ghosts cry acid, or is it just Napstablook?_

 _*(I think he and a few others did when I was around, but there weren't as many crying monsters back then…)_

I know where this is going.

 _Sweetie, we talked about this. That wasn't your fault. You had far too much pressure and responsibility imposed on you at such a young age. No child could fulfill such high expectations as freeing an entire race._

 _*(You did.)_

 _Yeah, but I had help. ^.^_

 _*(Aww.)_

 _Sans had my back the whole time! ; )_

 _*(Heh, shut up, you dork.)_

"Uh, hey."

I realized that I had forgotten about the fight while I was talking (thinking?) with Chara.

"If you two are having a moment, I can go…"

"Oh, sorry, Blooky, I didn't mean to get distracted like that. We're done now, if you want to continue."

"That's okay; I wasn't really feeling up to fighting right now anyway."

"Oh, okay."

"I usually come to the RUINS because there's nobody around, but today I met somebody nice… Oh, I'm rambling again. I'll get out of your way."

Nabstablook vanishes, and the partially obstructed way forward clears. I carefully step through my noble birch allies and turn left at the crossroads.

 _*(Shouldn't we buy a donut? I know you don't want to eat it, but Muffet might not end your FIGHT with her if she doesn't see you have one.)_

 _Yeah, but with how the monsters have been avoiding us, I haven't collected enough gold to buy anything. I'll ask Toriel to lend me two gold later if it's needed._

The next room is another hallway with a sign and three froggits.

 _Last time, I was too afraid of these things to talk to them, so I just walked around them. I wonder if they have anything to say._

 _*(If not, then they'll FIGHT us, and we can get the last two gold we need.)_

Ignoring the ad sign for the bake sale, I walk to the first froggit. He doesn't FIGHT me, but he does have something interesting to say.

"Ribbit, ribbit."

…or at least I hope it's something interesting. I can't understand him myself.

 _Chara? Translation?_

 _*(My Frogese is a little rusty, but I'll try.)_

 _*(Sigh… My friend never listens to me. Whenever I talk, they skip through my words by pressing [X].)_

 _I think we found the madman that wrote that sign at the beginning of the RUINS._

"Pressing [X]?"

"Ribbit, ribbit."

 _*(That's right... Pressing [X]... ...Well, at least you listen to me.)_

"Believe me, buddy, I know what it's like for no one to listen to anything you say, though I suppose you can't understand me either. The universal monster translator I call a girlfriend only goes one way."

 _*(I'm going to punch you_ _ **so**_ _hard when I get a body again!)_

 _Worth it._

The first froggit seems a little happier now. I smile and go to the next froggit.

"Ribbit, ribbit."

 _*(I heard using "F4" can make you have a "full screen." But what does "F4" stand for? "Four frogs"? I have only seen a maximum of three frogs in this room…)"_

 _I think the crazy froggit was the one that told him that. That's probably why no one listens to him._

 _*(He's right though. There is an ant-sized froggit in the wall back there.)_

"Ribbit."

 _*(This is troubling, to say the least.)_

I leave the second froggit to ponder the mysteries of a madman's (madfroggit's?) musing, and go to the final normal-sized froggit in the room.

"Ribbit."

 _*(I have heard you are quite merciful, for a human…)_

 _Quite the backhanded compliment…_

 _*(I think he was actually trying to be nice. He's just not very good at it.)_

 _I know; I won't hold it against him._

 _*(You don't even hold people trying to kill you against them.)_

 _True._

"Ribbit, ribbit."

 _*(Surely you know by now a monster wears a YELLOW name when you can SPARE it.)_

 _No, it actually took me until Waterfall the first time to realize that. I really wish this information wasn't given exclusively by things that were trying to kill me ten minutes ago._

"Ribbit."

 _*(What do you think of that?)_

I just give the Froggit a thumbs up, as the last time I tried to speak Frogese, I ended up insulting a froggit's mother, face, and taste in music.

"Ribbit, ribbit."

 _*(It is rather helpful. Remember, sparing is just saying you won't fight. Maybe one day, you'll have to do it even if their name isn't yellow.)_

On my way out of the room, Toriel calls.

"Hello? I just realized that it has been a while since I have cleaned up. I was not expecting to have company so soon. There are probably a lot of things lying about here and there. You can pick them up, but do not carry more than you need. Someday, you might see something you really like. You will want to leave room in your pockets for that."

"Don't worry; I have surprisingly deep and spacious pockets."

I hang up and enter the next room. It is a large room with six evenly spaced cracked spots on the floor. I step on the closest crack on the right and fall through the floor. I find a ribbon on the floor and pick it up.

 _*(You found a Faded Ribbon. Was that here last time?)_

 _I don't know, we only went into the first two holes on the left last time. Does this do anything?_

 _*(It will help protect you from harm if you wear it.)_

 _How does that work?_

 _*(If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard.)_

 _Right… I'll pass._

I leave the item in my inventory and head towards the hole in the wall that leads back up. On my way there, a mygosp and vegetoid attack.

 _*(Vegetoid came out of the earth!)_

Act→Check→Vegetoid

 _*(VEGETOID - ATK 6 DEF 6)_

 _*(Serving Size: 1 Monster)_

 _*(Not monitored by the USDA.)_

"Farmed Locally, Very Locally"

"HEED THE SWARM"

 _Migosp really likes the Zerg._

I dodge most of their attacks, but I get hit once and take a little damage.

 _*(Sloppy.)_

 _I'm just not used to using this tiny body again yet._

 _*(Excuses.)_

 _*(Vegetoid cackles softly.)_

Act→Vegetoid→Talk

"Plants can't talk, dummy."

"FILTHY SINGLE MINDER…"

 _Tell that to Flowey. Oh, wait, you can't, because plants can't talk!_

This time, I manage to avoid all of their attacks, though there were a few close calls.

 _*(Migosp is knitting its brow.)_

Act→Vegetoid→Dinner

 _*(You pat your stomach. Vegetoid offers a healthy meal.)_

"Eat your greens."

"OBEY THE OVERMIND!"

 _Wait, do they have StarCraft in the Underground?_

 _*(Considering how old that game is, it wouldn't surprise me if at least one copy ended up down here.)_

I touch a green attack that heals me slightly while avoiding the rest.

 _*(Vegetoid is here for your health.)_

MERCY→Spare

The vegetoid exits the battle. The migosp seems more passive after this. Instead of attacking me on the next turn, it simply does a little dance.

 _*(Migosp doesn't have a care in the world.)_

ACT→Migosp→Check

 _*(MIGOSP - ATK 7 DEF 5)_

 _*(It seems evil, but it's just with the wrong crowd…)_

 _That vegetoid_ was _a really bad influence._

"Swing your arms, baby."

I spare the migosp once it finishes dancing again and the FIGHT ends.

 _*(YOU WON!)_

 _*(You earned 0 XP and 6 gold.)_

 _I guess we won't need to borrow that gold from Toriel after all._

After exiting the hole, I move to the second cracked spot on the right and fall in. At the bottom, Napstablook is lying on the floor.

"I fell down a hole. Now I can't get up. Go on without me."

"How did you fall down a hole? Can't you fly?"

"Oh… right… oh well…"

Napstablook disappears once he realizes he was never trapped to begin with.

 _I'm surprised a ghost even has any concept of being trapped. There are literally no bounds for them. Well, other than the barrier._

 _*(Frisk, before you jump into any more holes, you should probably find a SAVE point. There might not be an exit at the bottom of all of these holes.)_

 _I know, I just knew those two had exits because their exits connect to the other two we fell in the first time around. I'll avoid the last two holes._

Back up top, I step on the second cracked floor to the left, as the first hole to the left just had a vegetoid in it last time. At the bottom of this hole is a switch which I then pull. I hear the spikes in the room above go down and exit the pit. The way forward is clear, and I march onward.

While solving the annoying switch puzzle in the next room, I run into a loox.

 _*(Loox drew near!)_

ACT→Loox→Check

 _*(LOOX - ATK 6 DEF 6)_

 _*(Don't pick on him. Family name: Eyewalker.)_

 _Loox Eyewalker? Someone's certainly a Star Wars fan._

"Please don't pick on me."

After dodging the loox's attacks, I don't pick on it, because I'm not an idiot and can take a hint.

"Finally, someone gets it."

With more dodging, I'm now able to spare the loox.

 _*(YOU WON!)_

 _*(You earned 0 XP and 5 gold.)_

I finish the switch puzzle and move to the next area. It appears to be a hallway with a three‑way intersection in the middle, one path going strait, the other going left. There's a small patch of vines on the floor ahead of me, another patch of vines on the strait path after the intersection, and a pile of leaves in the shape of a cross on the left path. I decide to go forward to talk to the froggit I remember is up ahead.

"Ribbit, ribbit."

 _*(Just between you and me, I saw TORIEL come out of here just a little while ago. She was carrying some groceries. I didn't ask what they were for; we're all too intimidated to talk to her.)_

 _Why do you suppose the froggits in the RUINS don't speak English? All the other monsters appear to be able to, even the final froggits._

 _*(They're probably incapable of speaking in such a manner.)_

Through the archway next to the froggit, there's a balcony overlooking a large portion of the RUINS. The buildings are in remarkably good condition.

 _*(Whoever built these ruins obviously built them to last.)_

 _Didn't the monsters build the RUINS?_

 _*(No, the RUINS were already there when the monsters first went underground; they just founded a city in it. They weren't sure what this place was originally called, but Dad named it the RUINS.)_

 _Figures that he named this place…_

 _*(He named the city itself "Home", so yeah, he's never been good with names.)_

I pick up the nearby toy knife and go back to the intersection. I take the path with the pile of overused jokes and end up in a room with a large, seemingly dead tree. Toriel is on the other side of the tree, apparently just back from putting the pie in the oven.

 _It's strange that we only got here at just the moment that she finished baking again._

"Oh dear, that took longer than I thought it would."

Toriel walks past the tree just as she's calling me on her CELLPHONE. When my phone rings, she looks up and notices me standing there. I wave at her.

"How did you get here, my child? Are you hurt?"

She inspects me to see if I'm wounded.

"Not a scratch… Impressive! But still, I should not have left you alone for so long.

It was irresponsible to try to surprise you like this. Err… Well, I suppose I cannot hide it any longer. Come, small one!"

She walks to her house. Before I go inside, I finish my empire by annexing the last of the leaves under my rule. This is truly a glorious day!

 _*(Subjugating all the leaves in the RUINS into your kingdom fills you with determination.)_

I follow Toriel inside after saving.

"Do you smell that? Surprise! It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie."

 _*(ButtsPie!)_

 _You're such a child._

 _*(I'm not the one that still sleeps with his stuff toy animal.)_

 _I don't sleep with him! Monkey just sits on the nightstand._

 _*(Sure he does.)_

 _What? Are you jealous? *wink*_

 _*(Yes, I'm jealous of an inanimate object from your childhood. That's exactly what's going on.)_

 _Aw, don't worry, he just likes to watch._

 _*(You're such a perv, Frisk.)_

 _You know you love it!_

"I thought we might celebrate your arrival. I want you to have a nice time living here, so I will hold off on snail pie for tonight. Here, I have another surprise for you."

Toriel leads me down a hallway to the right. She stops at the first door on the left.

"This is it, a room of your own. I hope you like it!"

She pats my head for a few seconds before her face scrunches up, smelling the air.

"Is something burning…? Um, make yourself at home!"

 _I wonder how her stove works. I doubt it's powered by her own fire magic if she can accidentally leave it on and not remotely turn it off._

 _*(Maybe she can, but she still wanted to get it out of the oven faster?)_

 _That's another thing; how does a magic pie burn? What's it made out of? Real ingredients would've expired ages ago down here, so it must be made out of magic. Do you really need to combine magic eggs, magic flour, and magic milk in an oven with heat to make a magic pie? Where do magic ingredients come from? Do they have magic chickens and magic cows down here? Why is it they can make magic ingredients but not the actual pie directly? Who runs a store that sells those ingredients down here? Argh! I'm getting a headache._

Shaking my head, I head into the room Toriel gave me. It's a small room with a large rug in the middle of the floor. There's a lamp on a table in the far left corner, a picture of a flower on the wall, a box of kid's shoes next to a shelf, a cabinet or wardrobe of some sort on the center of the far wall, a toy box, a bed, and a floor lamp in the far right. I take a closer look at the toy box in front of the bed.

 _*(Look at these cool toys! They don't interest you at all.)_

 _Wait, one of them does._

I reach inside the toy box and grab one object in particular.

 _*(Hm? What are you going to do with that?)_

 _Payback for Sans._

 _*(Ooo. I like that idea.)_

I notice a picture frame on the shelf and take a closer look. Unfortunately, unlike Asgore's picture frame, this one doesn't have a photo of Chara's family.

 _*(It's an empty photo frame. It's really dusty…)_

 _Chara, are you okay?_

 _*(Yeah, I'm fine…)_

I don't buy that for a second.

 _She's just afraid of facing her past. She only removed the picture to help her hide from it. Besides, she comes around eventually._

 _*(I know; it just stinks that things got like this with them.)_

The "because of me" added to the end of that couldn't be any clearer if she said it directly. There's no use trying to convince her otherwise right now; she knows it isn't really her fault her parents separated, but she still _feels_ like it is.

 _Is there anything I can do?_

 _*(Can I just have some time to think by myself?)_

I'm saddened by this, but there's not much more I can do for her. Sleeping is the only time Chara and I can completely block out each other's "verbal" thoughts, at least until she gets her own body. For now, this will have to do.

 _Okay. I hope you feel better, sweetie._

 _*(Sweet dreams, Frisk.)_

I climb onto the bed and go to sleep.

* * *

How'd you like that extremely misleading chapter preview quote? The others will probably be more serious, but it was too good of an opportunity to take it out of context here.


	3. Chapter 2: Heartaches

**Chapter 2: Heartaches**

" _In this world, it's kill or be killed."_

" _Not yet it's not, and I intend to keep it that way."_

* * *

" _I… I don't like this idea,"_

 _What?_

" _Wh–what? N-no, I'm not…"_

 _Ah, one of Chara's memories._

"… _big kids don't cry. Yeah, you're right."_

I would often see Chara's memories after I went to sleep or lost consciousness after falling into the Underground. When I told her about it, she was really embarrassed… and maybe a bit ashamed.

" _No! I'd never doubt you! Never!"_

Asriel was always so loyal to her…

" _Y–yeah! We'll be strong! We'll free everyone."_

And she was good at reassuring him when he needed more confidence. I suppose that's to be expected, since she was always so determined once she set her mind to doing something. She believed it was her destiny to free the monsters. Even if it was impossible, she would do anything to achieve that goal.

" _I'll go get the flowers."_

I just wish she didn't…

* * *

I awake in the bed. The lights have been turned off and there's a slice of pie on the floor nearby.

 _*(Welcome back to the world of the waking.)_

 _Hey Chara, feeling better?_

 _*(Yeah.)_

 _That's good. Did I miss anything?_

 _*(Not much. Toriel came in and left a slice of pie for you just like before.)_

 _Good, we can share some with Asgore when we get to him. Anyway, wanna take a look around the house before we go?_

 _*(Eh, why not?)_

I pick up the plate with the slice of pie and put it into my inventory. I then leave the room and head down to the end of the hallway.

 _So, does this place bring back any memories?_

 _*(Only because of its eerie similarity to our old home in New Home.)_

 _Didn't you live here too?_

 _*(No, they had already moved to New Home near the beginning of that year.)_

 _That explains why there's only one bed in Asriel's room and only three chairs in the living room. So what was Asriel doing so close to here when you fell down?_

 _*(I think he just liked playing around here and convinced Mom and Dad to come visit every once in a while. There were some old memories for him, some monsters he didn't normally see, and a spot with natural sunlight here.)_

 _I see. Wanna look in your mom's room?_

 _*(That sounds like a bad idea that could easily backfire.)_

 _Par for the course then._

I enter Toriel's room stealthily in case she is nearby.

 _*(I don't think we should be in here.)_

 _Don't worry. If we get caught, I can just say I was looking for her._

 _*(I guess that's okay…)_

In her room, there is a bucket on the floor, a desk with a chair and a lamp, a queen-size bed (hah), a few plants, a bookshelf, and a dresser with another lamp on it and a mirror above it.

 _I still don't get how these plants can survive without sunlight. They're not magic plants; we've seen those golden flowers growing elsewhere._

 _*(Plastic maybe?)_

 _That doesn't sound like something she'd use. Didn't you guys have a garden in New Home?_

 _*(Yeah, but it was mostly mushrooms. Only a few spots had any sunlight.)_

 _Whose idea was it to plant poisonous plants in those few spots?_

 _*(There weren't a lot of things you could plant down here. The monsters didn't exactly have time to pack a variety of seeds with them, and it's not like they really needed crops. Besides, they were just there to look pretty, not to actually provide or do anything.)_

 _Just like—_

 _*(Frisk, if you value your life, you won't finish that sentence.)_

 _Okay, okay! Sorry! I'll stop making jokes for the rest of the Underground._

 _*(…)_

 _*(…please don't.)_

 _What?_

 _*(I…I like your jokes; they make me laugh. Please don't stop. Just use a little restraint on the topics.)_

I think that's why she actually enjoys my company, as much as she denies it. I may not be particularly strong or smart, but I can entertain her. I can make her laugh. I can make her happy. That is what's important to me.

 _Okay._ =)

I take a closer look at the nearby bucket.

 _What's this?_

 _*(Just a regular old bucket.)_

 _I meant what's in it?_

 _*(…snails.)_

 _Ew._

Stepping back away from the icky bucket, I bump into the chair next to the desk.

 _*(Toriel's small chair. Its name is Chairiel.)_

 _Pfft—Did you come up with that?_

 _*(Mom did. She asked me to "sit in Chairiel" one time when Asriel and I were kids.)_

Snickering, I move over to the dresser.

 _What would Toriel keep in here?_

 _*(Twenty copies of the exact same robe?)_

 _Maybe…_

I take a peek inside.

 _*(Scandalous!)_

 _This is her sock drawer, Chara._

 _*(Oh my! How obscene!)_

 _Right. Wait, why does she have a sock drawer?!_

 _*(For… Yeah, I've got nothing.)_

 _I can only think of two uses for socks, and neither of them really apply to Toriel._

 _*(Frisk!)_

If a ghost's voice in your head could blush, Chara's face would be entirely red right now.

 _What?_

 _*(That's—wait, what two uses are you thinking of?)_

 _To keep feet warm and to put Christmas gifts in._

 _*(Oh… Um, never mind.)_

 _Hey, did you think I meant—_

 _*(I said, "NEVER MIND!")_

Moving right along, I notice a cactus in the corner of the room.

 _*(Ah, the cactus. Truly the most tsundere of plants.)_

" _Sun dare? Like that weird plane in Hotland?"_

 _*(I'll explain it later.)_

Shrugging, I leave Toriel's room and head further down the hallway. Past the room where I assume Toriel dumped all of Asgore's stuff from her room, there's a mirror on the wall.

 _*(It's you!)_

 _No, that's a mirror._

Ignoring me, Chara continues:

 _*(I forgot how cute you were back then.)_

 _Bad touch! I need an adult! I need an adult!_

 _*(Oh hush, you! Besides, I am an adult.)_

 _Not anymore we're not._

I decide that that is enough exploring for now and head to the living room. Toriel is in a chair reading a book by the fire.

"Up already, I see? Um, I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books I want to share. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I've also prepared a curriculum for your education."

 _How is this strange woman automatically assuming I want to live here for the remainder of my life not supposed to be creepy?_

"This may come as a surprise to you, but I have always wanted to be a teacher."

 _And_ that's _why you married royalty._

"…actually, perhaps that isn't very surprising. STILL, I am glad to have you living here. Oh, did you want something?"

"I'd like to go to the spider bake sale and buy a donut."

"Of course, my child. Do you want me to walk there with you?"

"I'll be okay, but thanks."

"Okay, be safe."

"I will."

The trip to the bake sale and back is uneventful. I collect tribute from my leaf vassals along the way and use some of it to buy a spider donut.

The trip to the bake sale and back was uneventful. I collected tribute from my leaf vassals along the way, and used some of it to buy a spider donut.

 _*(We can afford the cider too, you know.)_

 _I know. I just don't really like cider, whether it's made of spiders or not._

I return to Toriel's home and touch the save point, but before I enter the house, I make sure Chara is ready for what's next.

 _I think it's time we left. Ready, Chara?_

 _*(As much as I'll ever be.)_

 _Okay. I'll tell Toriel._

I enter the house and go to the living room where Toriel is sitting.

"Oh, hello! Did you want to hear about the book I am reading? It is called '72 Uses for Snails.' How about it?"

"Toriel, I'm really glad you saved me from that flower, and I'm very thankful that you're willing to take me in, but I have to go now. How do I exit the Ruins?"

"… I have to do something. Stay here."

Toriel puts down her book, takes off her glasses, and runs off to the stairs.

 _Same reaction as before…_

 _*(Maybe you could try reasoning with her?)_

 _I don't think I can talk her down from this._

 _*(Please, can you at least try? For me?)_

The things I do for this woman…

 _Alright, I'll do what I can._

 _*(That's all I ask.)_

I follow Toriel down the stairs. At the bottom is a narrow passageway. Toriel is stopped a short distance from the stairs. I walk up to her, and she hears me coming. Without looking back, she says, "You wish to know how to return 'home,' do you not?"

"Yes, I miss my family."

"Ahead of us lies the end of the RUINS, a one-way exit to the rest of the Underground. I am going to destroy it."

"Doesn't that sound a tad extreme?

"No one will ever be able to leave again."

"If you really wanted that, you would've already destroyed it before now. You're being irrational."

"Now be a good child and go upstairs."

She starts walking down the hall again, but I chase after her. There's no point in trying to appeal to her logic; she's acting purely out of passion. I try to appeal to her emotions instead.

"I'm not your child, Toriel, and you can't keep me here. I have to go home; my family is worried about me. Wouldn't you want to have your child back if they were lost?"

 _*(Her children_ are _lost, in more than one way…)_

"Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again. They come. They leave. They die."

It'll be hard to convince her that I'll succeed where six other humans have all failed.

"That won't happen to me. I'll find a way out of here without dying or hurting anyone."

Toriel stops, and again, without looking back at me, says, "You naive child… If you leave the RUINS, he—Asgore—will kill you. I am only protecting you; don't you understand?"

At least she stopped moving. Maybe I can plant a seed of doubt to get her to reconsider her actions.

"I know you want to protect me, but I can take care of myself! Please just stop and think about what you're doing!"

"Go to your room."

 _No good; she still isn't listening._

Toriel continues down the hallway but stops at the turn leading to the exit to the Ruins. I catch up to her. Perhaps showing understanding will get her to hear me out.

"I know you're scared to leave, but we can work through this together!"

But she is still beyond reason. Once more, without looking at me, she replies, "Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning."

Toriel at last makes it to the door leading to the exit of the Ruins. As a last effort, I make it clear to her that I am determined to leave. Asserting the need might get her to stop.

"If you want to stop me, you'll have to do so by force! I won't back down!"

"You want to leave so badly? Hmph. You are just like the others. There is only one solution to this."

"Talk this out like rational people?"

"Prove yourself."

 _I'm sorry, Chara._

"Prove to me you are strong enough to survive."

 _I tried._

The FIGHT begins.

 _*(Toriel blocks the way!)_

 _*(I hate that you have to fight her.)_

 _Yeah, last time you even tried to convince me to let her destroy the exit. You said she 'knew what was best for me'._

 _*(I didn't want you to be trapped here; I just…)_

 _I know; don't worry. I don't blame you for wanting to do what your mother said. I actually wanted to stay a little too, but I had a home to get back to, and so do you._

 _*(Yeah…)_

ACT→Toriel→Check

 _*(TORIEL - ATK 80 DEF 80)_

 _*(She's just lashing out.)_

The surrounding walls and ceiling light up with fire, and Toriel launches several more fire balls at me. I'm able to dodge them, but I nearly get burnt a few times.

 _*(You know she'll stop trying to hit you once you get hurt enough.)  
Yeah, but I'd rather not get that injured. Besides, it's good practice in case we have to fight Asgore._

 _*(I guess.)_

 _*(Toriel looks through you.)_

ACT→Toriel→Talk

 _*(You couldn't think of any conversation topics.)_

 _I could try asking her about her favorite books._

 _*(You couldn't think of any_ appropriate _conversation topics.)_

Now Toriel attacks me with a cyclone of fire. I'm able to stay in the safe areas of the attack where the fire doesn't touch.

 _*(Toriel looks through you.)_

MERCY→Spare

"..."

The walls light up with fire again, and Toriel sends even more fireballs at me. I get hit once, but no major damage is done.

 _*(Toriel looks through you.)_

MERCY→Spare

"... ..."

 _*(Toriel prepares a magical attack.)_

 _Which is different from her other attacks how?_

MERCY→Spare

"... ... ..."

 _My, she's a real chatterbox now, isn't she?_

I get hit again. It gets harder to focus on avoiding her attacks every time she lands a strike. This isn't helped by the already limited area I have in which to maneuver.

 _*(Toriel prepares a magical attack.)_

MERCY→Spare

"…?"

Toriel uses a new attack. She creates two lines of fireballs in front of and behind me which then all launch at me simultaneously. I get hit by one of the fireballs that bounced off of the wall.

 _Why would you make fireballs that bounce?!_

 _*(Toriel is acting aloof.)_

MERCY→Spare

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not going to FIGHT you, Toriel."

 _*(Toriel looks through you.)_

MERCY→Spare

"Attack or run away!"

"I'm not going to run away either. Stop this!"

 _*(Toriel prepares a magical attack.)_

MERCY→Spare

"What are you proving this way?"

"I'm proving that I can survive conflict on my own! I can take care of myself; just let me pass!"

 _*(Toriel takes a deep breath.)_

MERCY→Spare

"Fight me or leave!"

"I'm not leaving until you stop FIGHTing."

 _*(Toriel looks through you.)_

MERCY→Spare

"Stop it."

"You first."

 _*(Toriel looks through you.)_

MERCY→Spare

"Stop looking at me that way."

"No."

 _*(Toriel prepares a magical attack.)_

MERCY→Spare

"Go away!"

"We both know that's not what you really want."

 _*(Toriel is acting aloof.)_

MERCY→Spare

"…"

 _*(Toriel prepares a magical attack.)_

MERCY→Spare

Toriel's expression finally changes from a stern gaze to a more saddened form. Her attacks now intentionally miss as she thinks the situation through.

"... ..."

 _*(Toriel looks through you.)_

MERCY→Spare

"I know you want to go home, but…"

Toriel stops attacking entirely.

 _*(…)_

MERCY→Spare

"But please, go upstairs now. I promise I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but we can have a good life here."

"I can't."

"Why are you making this so difficult? Please, go upstairs."

"Toriel, I'm sure you could do an excellent job caring for me, but this isn't where I belong. I have to move on."

"..."

"Ha, ha… Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single child."

 _*(Her track record_ is _pretty abysmal.)_

"No, I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down here. The RUINS are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this.

My expectations… My loneliness… My fear… For you, my child, I will put them aside."

The FIGHT ends at last.

"If you truly wish to leave the RUINS, I will not stop you. However, when you leave, please do not come back."

 _I won't need to; you'll come to me._

"I hope you understand."

 _More than you know, goat-mom._

Toriel turns around and gives me a hug before saying, "Goodbye, my child," and walking away back to her home.

 _Doing okay up there?_

 _*(Me? You're the one that got burned by several fireballs!)_

 _It's just a flesh wound._

 _*(*sigh* Why must you always be so damn caring?)_

 _Dunno. Why must_ you _be so damn worth caring about?_

 _(Touché, lover boy.)_

I smile and push through the doors in front of me. I then walk down the hallway on the other side… and walk… and walk… and walk…

 _Why is this hallway so long?_

 _*(It's a good thing she didn't destroy the exit. It would've taken years to dig another hole through here, even with magic.)_

I _finally_ make it to the end of the hall and into another room. Flowey is waiting for me there.

"Clever. Verrrryyy clever. You think you're really smart, don't you?"

"Smart enough to know that's a rhetorical question."

"In this world, it's kill or be killed."

"Not yet it's not, and I intend to keep it that way."

"So you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of a single person. Hee, hee, hee… I bet you feel really great. You didn't kill anybody this time. But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer?"

"The purity of my soul will force him to change his ways the moment he lays eyes on me!"

 _*(That's not how it works, Frisk.)_

 _It worked with you._

 _*(…it wasn't the_ moment _I laid eyes on you…)_

 _Right, it took a few minutes._

 _*(It was at least a few hours!)_

 _*(…)_

 _*(Um, I mean—)_

 _Wow. So I'm really that attractive? 0.~_

 _*(Shut up, you dork… Besides, it wasn't your looks.)_

 _So you were after my money? I knew it!_

 _*(No, it was the way you—wait, what money?)_

 _Don't act like you don't know! I have $5.86 in my piggy bank at home._

 _*(Oh no! My gold-digging ways have been discovered!)_

 _Don't try to change the subject to mining; I'm on to you!_

 _*(Hold on, I think Flowey is almost done talking.)_

"I am the prince of this world's future. Don't worry, my little monarch, my plan isn't regicide. This is SO much more interesting."

Flowey does his hideous face-morph thing and cackles evilly. He then disappears back into the earth. I walk up to the doors leading out of the RUINS.

 _Well, here we go._

I push the doors open and step into the frigid land on the other side.


	4. Chapter 3: Snowdin Forest

**The Only Reset**

 **Chapter 3: Snowdin Forest**

" _Bravery, Justice, Integrity, Kindness, Patience, and Wisdom, using these, you were able to win at 'Ball Game.'"  
_

* * *

 _I really should've asked Toriel for a jacket before we left. Still, Snowdin is pretty nice to look at._

 _*(It was also one of my favorite places to play. Azzy and I would have snowball fights here.)_

Walking along, I stare up at the trees on the sides of the path.

 _Wow, those trees are tall, and not just because I'm short again. I wonder if they have leaves. Wait a minute, how do they get sunlight? How are they so close together? There's no way their roots can support them if they're all that close. Also, they are much too thin to stand up that high even with stable roots!_

 _*(Maybe it's magic?)_

 _What possible use would monsters have for making thin trees super close together, really, really tall, and in an environment that can't sustain them?_

 _*(It's magic; we don't have to explain it.)_

 _Yes you do! Magic can explain "how", but not "why"!_

My rant is cut short when I trip and land face-first into the snow. I push myself up and look for what I tripped on.

 _*(It's a tough-looking branch. It's too heavy to pick up.)_

 _It seems I was so wrapped up in the absurdity of these trees that I didn't notice it on the path. I really need to learn to just accept things and move on. Oh well, let's just get to the bridge._

I barely get six feet away when I hear the branch snap.

 _Oh yeah, Sans wants to mess with me first._

I take a closer look at the pile of twigs that was once a branch.

 _Geez, he really tore that thing apart._

 _*(Yeah, it's been smashed like it was nothing…)_

 _Might as well get this over with._

I take a small piece of the branch for later and continue down the path while ignoring the creepy sounds I hear behind me until I reach a bridge with a sad excuse for a gate "blocking" it.

 _Annnnd now I can't move._

 _*(Looks like Bonehead is coming.)_

A shadowy figure, or at least what I assume is a shadowy figure, approaches me slowly from behind.

 **"Human"**

 _Sans can be really creepy sometimes. I honestly think he gets a kick out of scaring small children._

 **"Don't you know how to greet a new pal?"**

I feel his grip on my soul loosen. The first time I was in this situation, I was still too horrified to move until he told me to turn around. Now, however…

 _*(It's time for some payback.)_

I turn around and grab not his hand, but his wrist.

 ***Bzzzt!***

Surprised, he quickly pulls his arm back. I start snickering at him.

"Hehehe, the old toy buzzer in the hand trick. It's ALWAYS funny."

 _*(He's had that coming for a_ _ **long**_ _time.)_

"heh, good one, kiddo."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to shock you."

 _*(Boo!)_

 _I'm sorry, but I had to say it; it was just too easy to pass up! Besides, Sans would've said it himself if I didn't._

"don't sweat it, kid. nothing rattles these bones."

 _*(Yeah, you're probably right.)_

"anyway, you're a human, right? that's hilarious. i'm sans. sans the skeleton. i'm actually supposed to be on the watch for humans right now."

"Is that so?"

"yeah, but… y'know…"

"You're too lazy to care?"

"pretty much. now my brother, papyrus… he's a human-hunting FANATIC."

Sans looks over my shoulder into the distance.

"hey, actually, i (oddly, this "I" is normally capitalized) think that's him over there."

I turn to look in the same direction, and I see a humanoid shape slowly approaching us.

"i have an idea. go through this gate thingy."

"This is a gate?"

"yeah. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone."

As we're crossing the bridge, I can't help but add, "It's not just that, Sans. Gates need to be openable and affixed to a fence or wall of some sort. Does Papyrus think humans are bigger than he is? If he can fit through, then he should know others can as well."

"i bet you're _real_ fun at parties."

"I get that a lot."

 _*(You're more often called a "trouble-maker" at parties.)_

 _Most of the parties I go to are for diplomats and politicians, and they are_ _ **so**_ _boring! I only tried to add some excitement to the atmosphere._

 _*(Right, but the "excitement" you added to the atmosphere was in the form of a brown note soundwave.)_

 _Everyone there was full of crap; I just wanted to help them get rid of some of it!_

We reach the other side of the bridge, and Sans points to a nearby lamp.

"quick, behind that conveniently shaped lamp."

I decide to pull a Toriel and stand at the side of the lamp he pointed to, but Papyrus still doesn't seem to notice me when he approaches. Maybe he thinks I'm a lamp too?

"sup, bro?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S 'SUP,' BROTHER! IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS, AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES!"

 _What would be the point in doing that? Word-search "puzzles" don't need calibration._

"YOU'RE JUST HANGING AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!"

"staring at this lamp. it's really cool. do you wanna look?"

As enthusiastic as Papyrus is, he doesn't make a very good sentry. Even when referenced directly to where I am, he doesn't bother looking.

"NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!"

 _You're a sentry, Papyrus. If it's anything like being a security guard,_ _ **all**_ _you have is time._

"WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE?! I WANT TO BE READY!"

 _And if your traps are meant to actually work, you shouldn't need to be constantly looking. Their whole function is to catch things for you._

 _*(Besides, when he sees you he just gives you a short speech and runs off. All that does is warn you of the coming traps.)_

"I MUST—NO—I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT… RECOGNITION… I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK TO BE MY FRIEND! I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING!

"hmm… maybe this lamp can help you."

"SANS! YOU ARE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE!"

 _I wouldn't call "sleeping" an unnecessary or questionable project._

"YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!"

"hey, take it easy. i've gotten a ton of work done today."

 _I hate this part._

"a skele-ton."

Papyrus, Chara, and I all groan at the malaprop.

 _Knowing it was coming didn't make it any less annoying._

"SANS!"

"come on. you're smiling."

"I AM AND I HATE IT! *sigh* WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET SOME RECOGNITION?"

"wow, sounds like you're really working yourself…"

 _Dammit, Sans…_

"down to the bone."

"UGH! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES. AS FOR YOUR WORK, PUT A LITTLE MORE "BACKBONE" INTO IT! NYEHEHEHEHEHE HEHEHEHEHEHE!"

Papyrus leaves, but then pokes his head back briefly to add an extra "HEH!" before running off.

"okay, you can come out now."

I come out from behind the lamp and throw the twig I collected earlier at Sans.

*doink* "um, ow? what was that for?"

"Uncreative fake puns."

"wow, I didn't expect you to—"

"PUN-ish you for it—yeah, I know. They might not be as bad if they weren't so predictable."

 _*(Though to be fair, he has already used all of his on you in another timeline.)_

 _They weren't funny the first time either._

"anyway, that worked out, huh?"

"I suppose."

"you oughta get going. he might come back, and if he does, you'll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes."

"That would truly be a gruesome fate."

Before I can leave, Sans speaks up at me, "actually, I hate to bother ya, but can you do me a favor?"

"Does this favor involve high explosives and/or industrial machinery?"

 _*(You already know it doesn't, Frisk.)_

 _I can dream…_

"no…"

"Darn. Oh well, what's the favor?"

"well, my brother's been kind of down lately…"

"Maybe that's because of all your bad puns."

Ignoring me, he continues, "he's never seen a human before, and seeing you might just make his day."

"You mean he's never seen one in person?"

"no, he just doesn't know what one looks like."

"How's he expected to find one then?!"

 _You'd think they'd give him some sort of reference picture of a human so he knows what he's actually looking for. Most of the other monsters I can excuse not knowing, but Papyrus is supposed to be a sentry!_

Sans just shrugs and makes an "I don't know" hum.

"*sigh* Fine, as long as it doesn't get us killed."

"don't worry, he's not dangerous, even if he tries to be."

 _I doubt that; he once beat me into unconsciousness and threw me into a shed. It'd be awkward to bring that up now though…_

"If you say so."

"thanks a million. i'll be up ahead."

Sans turns and walks back the way I came.

 _Sans said he could always "feel" when a LOAD happened. I thought similar would apply to a RESET, but so far he's been acting the same. Then again, we haven't had to LOAD yet, so maybe it's just not as noticeable._

 _*(Speaking of which, the next SAVE point should be up ahead.)_

 _Right. Let's go._

I continue down the snowy path before me. Up ahead, I see another yellow glowing SAVE star. Touching it, I feel the headache I developed after Sans's "pun" clearing.

 _*(The convenience of that lamp still fills you with determination, even after all these years.)_

I then go down the path toward a fork in the road, but Snowdrake attacks before I reach it.

 _*(Snowdrake flutters forth!)_

ACT→Snowdrake→Check

 _*(SNOWDRAKE – ATK 12 DEF 7)_

 _*(This teen comedian fights to keep a captive audience.)_

"'Ice' to meet you."

I feel my headache coming back from the force of uncreatively. What's worse is that Snowdrake takes this opportunity to attack me with several balls of sleet. They're easy enough to dodge though.

 _*(_ _Snowdrake is smiling at its own bad joke.)_

ACT→Snowdrake→Laugh

"Ah—hah—ha…"

 _*(You laugh weakly and forcedly at Snowdrake's pun.)_

"See!? Laughs! Dad was wrong!"

He sends more slow-moving projectiles at me, but I just move a little to the side to avoid them.

 _*(Snowdrake is pleased with its "cool" joke.)_

 _Chara, no._

 _*(You must really "Care-ah" bout monsters if you're going through all this trouble to free them.)_

 _Stop it…_

 _*(There is "snow" way—)_

 _Chara, honey, I love you, but if you keep making puns, I'm going to replace you with one of the other voices in my head. They had some really good ideas too…_

 _*(Fine, I can always find other ways to push your buttons.)_

 _You seem to have a talent for that._

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)  
*(You earned 0 XP and 12 gold.)_

Back out of the FIGHT, I watch Snowdrake happily flutter away, likely to share his puns with other unsuspecting victims. Those poor souls…

 _*(Maybe he'll find Jerry.)_

 _A man can only hope._

 _*(Thus why it's up to us women to actually do something.)_

 _Like move the furniture around?_

 _*(Shaddup. I could've done it myself.)_

 _But that would be needlessly difficult. It's not just chivalrous; it's only logical that I do it since it's significantly easier for me._

 _*(You have a remarkable talent for making kindhearted gestures sound like the logic of a cold, calculating machine.)_

 _That's me. Throw me a bone and I'll over examine it until I know why it has tiny fractures._

 _*(Yeah. It's amazing anyone puts up with you.)_

 _Shaddup._

Not wanting to mess with the fishing rod to the north, I continue to the storage box connected to a pocket dimension and dump all my excess junk inside it.

 _Okay, let's go make Papyrus's day._

Walking past the box, I see Papyrus talking to Sans a short ways away.

"SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE,"

Papyrus notices me as I approach and turns to look at me. Sans seeing his brother turn makes him look as well, at which point Papyrus looks back at Sans. They then alternate between looking at me and looking back at each other more and more rapidly until they're both spinning in circles. They stop a few moments later, hopefully before they're both dizzy.

"SANS! OH MY GOD! IS THAT… A HUMAN?! AND IT LOOKS SO FAMILIAR!"

My face contorts slightly in discomfort when Papyrus comments on my familiarity.

 _Hopefully not too familiar. That's a conversation I'd like to avoid having right now._

Sans looks past me towards the rock I'm in front of.

"uhhhh, i think it looks familiar… because it's a rock."

"OH."

"hey, what's that in front of the rock?"

"OH MY GOD!"

Papyrus turns back to Sans and whispers, "(IS _THAT_ A HUMAN?)", to which Sans whispers back, "(yes.)"

"OH MY GOD! SANS! I FINALLY DID IT! UNDYNE WILL… I'M GONNA… I'LL BE SO… POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR!"

 _*(He's nothing if not enthusiastic.)_

"…'AHEM' HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA!"

 _Too late, Papyrus; I'm well past the bridge of Khazad-dum._

 _*(Nerd.)_

"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU!"

 _By doing absolutely nothing as I walk past you._

"I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU!"

 _Then throw me in an unlocked shed…_

"YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN… THEN! I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S NEXT…"

 _We sit down and calmly discuss the ethics of killing innocent civilians out of necessity during wartime while having tea._

"IN ANY CASE, CONTINUE ONLY IF YOU DARE!"

Papyrus turns around and walks away.

"well, that went well. don't sweat it, kid. i'll keep an eye socket out for ya."

A brief flashback of all the times I died in the Underground quickly refutes that statement.

"Sure you will, Sans. It's not like you'd just stand there while an innocent child gets killed by a hostile world full of monsters desperate to tear its soul from its still living body."

I know I probably shouldn't have said that, but it's a bit of a sore spot that Sans was supposed to be watching over me while I had a traumatic experience in the Underground. He's really bad at keeping promises, though he doesn't make many of them to begin with anyway.

"But don't worry about it; I can take care of myself, so you don't have to do anything, and I bet doing nothing is something you both enjoy and excel at."

"it sure is. i'll be up ahead."

Sans walks ahead and disappears around a corner.

 _I probably shouldn't have snapped at Sans._

 _*(He did have it coming.)_

 _Yeah, but I accomplished nothing in doing so and may have messed with how things progress after this._

 _*(That lazy butt… it's amazing you weren't traumatized from everything that happened down here.)_

 _Or by what happened up there… Anyway, that's what we're here to prevent. I need to stay focused on the mission. I can't let my emotions get in the way._

 _*(Stay determined then.)_

Following the path down, I walk by Papyrus's cardboard sentry station. There's something written on the front of it I didn't notice before. I go to take a closer look.

 _*_ _(_ _There's some narration on this cardboard box.)_

*YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER? I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN, PAPYRUS!  
(NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.)

 _*(Isn't it kind of unfair that Papyrus only has a cardboard box for a sentry post? Why'd he have to build his own?)_

 _He probably insisted on building it himself. Besides, it's not like he'd ever actually use it. He's not the kind of guy to stand around in a single spot all day like a normal sentry would._

 _*(Fair enough.)_

When I turn back towards the path, an ice cap monster appears.

 _*(Icecap struts into view.)_

ACT→Ice Cap→Check

 _*(ICE CAP – ATK 11 DEF 4)  
*(This teen wonders why it isn't named 'Ice Hat.)_

"I just looove my hat, okay?"

Ice Cap shoots magical bolts in the shape of his hat at me. They're easy to dodge at first, but I had forgotten that they double back after flying past me, and one hits me in the back.

 _*(You forgot how its attack works?)_

 _Give me a break; it's been ten years!_

 _*(You can quote, line-for-line, the entire script of a movie you saw eight years ago.)_

 _That's only because I've seen it so many times. I only ran into one or two icecaps before I reached Snowdin the first time._

 _*(Three, actually.)_

 _Whatever._

 _*(Ice Cap is thinking about a certain article of clothing.)_

 _Gloves, I bet._

ACT→Ice Cap→Ignore

 _*(You manage to tear your eyes away from Ice Cap's hat. It looks annoyed.)_

"HELLO? My hat's up here."

This time I'm able to avoid its attacks properly.

 _*(Ice Cap is secretly checking if you're looking at its hat.)_

ACT→Ice Cap→Ignore

 _*(You continue not looking at Ice Cap's hat. It seems defeated…)_

"Fine! I don't care!"

At this, ice cap attacks with a wall of ice that has a waving space in the middle. Standing in just the right spot, I don't even need to move as it passes by me.

 _*(Ice Cap looks desperate for attention.)_

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)  
*(You earned 0 XP and 6 gold.)_

After the ice cap leaves, I continue down the path towards Doggo's sentry station. There's a sign on the path a few feet away from the station.

*Absolutely NO MOVING!

 _Why is this sign on this side of the sentry post? Also, wouldn't they want people to move so the sentry can see them?_

 _*(Maybe he's trained to attack anything he sees?)_

 _Then why isn't the sign on the other side? People coming from town would need to walk by his station before seeing the sign. Also, how did Papyrus get past him? Come to think of it, how does Papyrus get along with any of the dogs? He's made of bones! I'm surprised_ _he's not currently buried in a dozen different holes all around the forest_ _._

"Did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things."

' _I am the miniboss! I loudly state my weaknesses!'_

"If something—for example, a human— _was_ moving, I'll make sure it _never_ moves again!"

 _Oh no! He's going to paralyze me!_

 _*(He'd better not; there are parts of you I still plan on using.)_

 _And I still need to free an entire race of people from imprisonment._

 _*(Sure, that too.)_

Doggo moves out from his sentry post and stands on the path in front of me, thus blocking my way forward. The FIGHT starts.

 _*(Doggo blocks the way!)_

ACT→Doggo→Check

 _*(DOGGO – ATK 13 DEF 7)_

 _*(Easily excited by movement. Hobbies include: squirrels.)_

 _There aren't any squirrels in the Underground._

 _*(He likes chasing them after he gets above ground.)_

"Don't move an inch!"

Doggo's blue attack moves right through me without causing any damage.

 _*(Doggo can't seem to find anything.)_

Fortunately, I know the weakness of all dogs.

ITEM→Stick

 _*(You threw the stick and the dog ran to get it. You played fetch for a while.)_

"HUH!? A FUN STICK APPEARS!"

 _*(Doggo loves fetch!)_

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)  
*(You earned 0 XP and 30 gold.)_

"A stick appeared out of nowhere, and then disappeared. Was it a ghost stick? Did I just return it to the afterlife? I need some dog treats to think about this."

 _I don't think that people with Riddoch Syndrome make very good sentries. It'd be hard for them to tell what they're actually looking at even if it's moving._

Doggo calms his worries about the stick apparition by smoking some dog treats.

 _*(Isn't that bad for him?)_

 _Unless the treats are made of toxic chemicals that can actually harm magical beings, I think he'll be fine._

As I head down the road once more, I notice some burnt dog treats on the side of the road a short distance away from the sentry post.

 _How'd these get over here? Doesn't he have some sort of ash tray or pile near the post for him to dispose of the leftover treats? Trying to kill me is one thing, but I can't forgive_ litter bugs _!_

 _*(It's probably biodegradable. Most magic is.)_

I see Sans ahead on the path. He stops me before I go ahead.

"hey, here's something important to remember. my brother has a very special attack. if you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you. here's an easy way to keep it in mind. imagine a stop sign. when you see a stop sign, you stop, right? stop signs are red. so imagine a blue stop sign instead. simple, right? when fighting, think about blue stop signs."

 _Wow, Sans, that's extremely helpful information that would have been really useful FIVE MINUTES AGO! You know, before we fought Doggo?!_

 _(Right? Can you imagine how horrible it would've been if Doggo didn't explicitly shout out his weakness?)_

 _That would've sucked._

I give Sans a flat look of annoyance for his tardy information, which incidentally happens to be identical to the way my face always looks.

–_–

"remember... blue stop signs."

–_–

After my staring makes him sufficiently uncomfortable, I walk on down the path once again. I turn north at another fork in the road to talk to the snowman there.

"Hello. I am a snowman."

"I think the politically correct term is 'frigid dihydrogen monoxide person.'"

"I want to see the world..."

"It's right underneath you. You can't miss it, literally."

"I mean more like sight-seeing."

"Oh. That makes more sense."

"Anyway, if you would be so kind, traveler, please… Take a piece of me and bring it very far away."

Despite not being able to move, the snowman somehow gives me a piece of his head with a coal eye on it.

"I don't suppose throwing it as far as I can counts as "far away," does it?"

"Not quite."

"Okay, I'll just carry it with me to the surface."

"Thank you, and good luck!"

I head back down and read the sign post at the intersection.

*North: Ice  
South: Ice  
West: Ice  
East: Snowdin Town (… and ice)

Frowning at the sign's inaccuracy, I decide to take out a marker and edit it a little.

*North: Ice **and Snowman**  
South:I̶c̶e̶ **Trees**  
West: Ice  
East: Snowdin Town (… and ice)

 _Better. ^.^_

 _*(You obsess over silly things.)_

 _No, I obsess over silly people._

 _*(You're in no position to call me silly.)_

Heading east, I see Sans and Papyrus talking up ahead.

"REALLY THOUGH, DO I KNOW THAT HUMAN?"

"do you not know… who you know?"

"PBPBPPBPT!"

 _How does he make that sound without any lips?_

 _*(Magic.)_

 _There's a type of magic that lets you make raspberry sounds?_

 _*(It's surprisingly popular, especially in middle school, or so I've heard.)_

"OF COURSE I KNOW WHO I KNOW! I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW AS MUCH AS I KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW, YOU KNOW?"

"no."

Papyrus finally sees me watching him and Sans.

"OH-HO! SPEAK OF THE DEVIL! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU, MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE TO BE… QUITE SHOCKING!"

 _Good one, Dr. Evil._

"FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE ELECTRICITY MAZE! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE, THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP! DOES THAT SOUND LIKE FUN?"

 _That isn't a maze, Papyrus. It's just a passageway with invisible walls. Therefore, this isn't a puzzle, since there's no actual "solving" involved._

"WELL, THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE IS ACTUALLY RATHER SMALL, I THINK. OK, YOU CAN GO AHEAD NOW."

Not wanting to zap him for no reason, I decide to point out the critical detail Papyrus is missing.

"Papyrus, I need to have the orb first."

"OH, RIGHT."

Papyrus walks through the "maze", leaving behind a trail of footprints in the snow. He reaches me and puts the orb on my head.

"HERE YOU GO!"

"Thanks."

Papyrus then rushes back through the trap and stands on the other side.

"OKAY, TRY NOW!"

I manage to navigate the trap while keeping the orb balanced on my head.

"INCREDIBLE! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL, YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY! TOO EASILY… HOWEVER, THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE EASY! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

"hey, thanks... my brother seems like he's having fun."

"I'm glad at least one of us is."

Sans actually seems slightly upset at this.

"is it really that bad?"

"No, it's just kind of boring. But if it makes him happy, it's fine."

That seems to relieve the skeleton a bit, like he doesn't want to upset me or something. Odd…

"by the way, did you see that weird outfit he's wearing? we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. he hasn't worn anything else since... he keeps calling it his 'battle body.' man, isn't my brother cool?"

I respond by shrugging and saying, "Meh, to each his own."

I walk down the path once again and come to a new area with the Nice Cream salesbunny nearby.

"I don't understand why these aren't selling; it's the perfect weather for something cold..."

Hoping that someone will actually listen to what I say, I advise, "Most people actually like to have warm things when it's cold and cold things when it's warm."

"OH! A CUSTOMER!"

 _It's like I'm talking to myself…_

"Hello! Would you like some Nice Cream? It's the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just 15G!"

 _Wanna cheer him up by buying some nice cream?_

 _*(If it'll make him happy.)_

"Sure, I'll have one."

"Here you go! Have a super-duper day!"

 _*(You got a Nice Cream.)_

I thank the Nice Cream salesbunny and walk over to the ball game nearby. A few well aimed kicks quickly propel the ball into the hole. A small red flag pops up. There's some writing on the flag.

*Bravery, Justice, Integrity, Kindness, Patience, and Wisdom, using these, you were able to win at "Ball Game."

 _*(You are awarded 50G.)_

 _Neat, that's much more than we got the first time._

Near the hole to the ball game is a tiny snowball, but before I can take a closer look at it, I am confronted with the most beautiful hat I could ever imagine! It's made of pure, crystalline ice with sharp corners and a holy, glowing aura. It's so amazing!

 _*(Icecap struts into view.)_

ACT→Ice Cap→Compliment

"That is the second-greatest piece of headwear I've ever seen!"

"My hat's too loud for me to hear you."

"I SAID I LOVE YOUR HAT!"

"DUH! Who DOESN'T?"

The ice cap attacks me with magical missile hats. One of the projectiles hits me.

 _*(You got hit? You just fought one of these guys a few minutes ago.)_

 _I can't help it; I'm just so awed by his hat!_

 _*(Frisk, it's exactly like all the other ice caps' hats.)_

 _NO! There's something special about this one! It's so amazing…_

ACT→Ice Cap→Compliment

"I wish I had a hat that great…"

"Envious? TOO BAD!"

 _What?! No! I must have it! I_ will _have it!_

 _*(Frisk… are you feeling okay?)_

ACT→Ice Cap→Steal

I tried to steal Ice Cap's hat, but alas, my attempts to take the radiant ice block fail miserably. The ice cap is not happy.

"HELP! FASHION POLICE!"

 _How foolish; we're well outside the fashion police's jurisdiction._

 _*(Didn't they try to extradite you once after you wore baggy clothes to some international gathering?)_

 _Yeah, you'd think I'd have diplomatic immunity for that or something._

 _*(Some crimes are unforgivable, Frisk.)_

Now on a mission to seize the hat, I can better focus on dodging Ice Cap's attacks. After its turn ends, I formulate a plan to lower its guard and seize the great hat.

ACT→Ice Cap→Ignore

 _*(You manage to tear your eyes away from Ice Cap's hat. It looks annoyed.)_

"What? What are you doing?"

 _*(Ice Cap is secretly checking if you're looking at its hat.)_

ACT→Ice Cap→Ignore

 _*(You continue not looking at Ice Cap's hat. It seems defeated...)_

"OK! I'll ignore you too."

 _*(_ _Ice Cap looks desperate for attention.)_

 _Now's my chance!_

ACT→Ice Cap→Steal

 _*(You successfully stole Ice Cap's hat, but it melts in your hands…)_

"No! Nooo!" I scream.

 _But, that hat was so cool…_ _Or was it? Wait, why did I want it so much? Now that it's gone, I can't remember what was so great about it in the first place. That hat must have had magical properties that made it more appealing._

Meanwhile, the ice cap is recovering from the loss of his hat.

"What's the point…"

Looking at the former ice cap, I notice that it's now just an ice cube.

 _I guess without its cap, it's not "Ice Cap" anymore; it's just "Ice"._

ACT→Ice→Check

 _*(ICE – ATK 1 DEF 0)  
*(Without its cap…)_

"So… Cold…"

As an ice cube, Ice is either unable or too depressed to launch an attack.

 _*(Smells like frozen despair.)_

 _The poor ice cap must have been under the same hypnotic spell as I was. It's obviously suffering from hat withdraw. I should try to make it feel better._

ACT→Ice Cap→Compliment

"You don't need that hat to look cool."

"So, I can still impress you?"

"Sure! Your hair cut is too rad to leave under that stuffy hat anyway."

"Yeah… I like my hair too…"

*(Ice doesn't mind its identity.)

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)  
*(You earned 0 XP and 35 gold.)_

 _Wow, that's quite a bit more than we got last time._

 _*(Maybe the hat was covering his savings?)_

 _I bet that his cap required quite a bit of maintenance. That must have been expensive._

Now that the fight is over, I'm able to take a closer look at the snowball.

 _That looks like a frozen version Sans's "Fried Snow"._

 _*(It's actually a snowdecahedron.)_

Looking more closely, I see that the snow object does indeed have ten sides.

 _How… Why… Never mind._

I decide to overlook the oddly-shaped lump of snow and go on to the next area with Sans's puzzle.

"HUMAN! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR..."

Papyrus looks around, confused.

"SANS! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!"

 _I guess Papyrus only just arrived too. Otherwise, you'd think he would've noticed the lack of a puzzle earlier._

"it's right there on the ground. trust me; there's no way they can get past this one."

The area ahead of me is clear except for a small piece of paper on the ground. Examining it, I notice that it's the kids' word find section from the local newspaper. He couldn't even be bothered to make his own crappy word-find…

 _At least it's more of a puzzle than the electric "maze". Well, I don't have a pencil, so I guess I'll have to do it later._

I fold up the word find and put it in my inventory. Then I walk over to Sans and Papyrus.

"SANS! THAT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"whoops, i knew i should have used today's crossword instead."

"WHAT!? CROSSWORD!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! IN MY OPINION JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."

"what? really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."

"UN. BELIEVABLE."

Papyrus turns to address me.

"HUMAN! SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!"

"It depends on personal preference and how hard the individual puzzle is. Crosswords can have a wide range of difficulties, not just based on the difficulty, variety, or obscurity of the clues, but also the layout of the grid itself. Jumbles, meanwhile, are all the same concept of a scrambled word, and their difficulties are based primarily on the length of the word, but also a bit on how common a word and its letters are. I personally like crosswords more since there's a much greater range of knowledge required to do them, but it's still at least partially based personal preferences and abilities."

Papyrus looks confused

"…"

Sans is equally vocal about my reply.

"…"

The only sound in the area is the wind. A tumbleweed bounces past us. I decide to break the silence.

"Good timing, but wrong environment for a tumbleweed."

Sans takes this as a que to speak up.

"yeah. i dunno who keeps letting those things loose around here."

"It's probably the same guy that plays a rim-shot when you make those 'puns'," I reply using air quotes.

Papyrus is even more confused and decides to leave.

"I'LL BE AT THE NEXT PUZZLE…"

"…you know, i was expecting a more straight-forward answer."

"Then you clearly asked the wrong person."

Sans just shrugs as I walk to the next "trap". There's a note lying on the ground, a table with a fork and frozen spaghetti on it, a SAVE star, a mouse hole, and a microwave. I examine the note.

 _*(It's a note from Papyrus...)_

*HUMAN! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. (LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU! YOU'LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT THAT YOU WON'T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T PROGRESSING, THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!)

NYEH-HEH-HEH,  
PAPYRUS

 _When will he learn? Inner monologues are supposed to go on the_ _ **back**_ _of the note!_

 _*(I can't believe people ever considered him a high-level threat.)_

 _It certainly wasn't for his trap-making skills._

Over at the microwave, I notice that all of its settings say "spaghetti".

 _He must have thought crossing out the words on the buttons on the microwave and replacing them with "spaghetti" would make it cook spaghetti._

 _*(I guess it doesn't really matter since it's not plugged in.)_

 _I'm sure the mouse will find some way to heat up the spaghetti anyway._

I touch the nearby SAVE star.

 _*(Knowing the mouse might one day find a way to heat up the spaghetti fills you with determination.)_

Reinvigorated by this knowledge, I continue my way forward into the next area. There's a sign to my left.

*Warning: Dog Marriage

 _What?_

I take another look at the sign.

 _*(Yes, you read that correctly.)_

 _O-kayyy…_

 _*(I think this is where the dogi attack us.)_

 _Oh yeah, them. Speaking of which, shouldn't we have come across Lesser Dog by now?_

 _*(Actually, I think he's up ahead.)_

Sure enough, Lesser Dog is digging around the snow around some trees a short distance away.

 _He's dutifully guarding the switch that lowers the spikes up ahead._

 _*(Or he's just playing around in the snow and just happens to be near the switch. He wasn't there last time.)_

 _Either way, it seems we have no choice but to FIGHT him._

 _*(You just want to pet him until his neck is ludicrously long again, don't you?)_

 _You know me too well. ^.^_

I excitedly run up to the dog.

 _*(Lesser Dog appears.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Check

 _*(LESSER DOG - ATK 12 DEF 2)  
(Wields a stone dogger made of pomer-granite.)_

 _That's not a dagger, Chara; it's a sword._

"(Pant pant)"

I dodge Lesser Dog's magical spear attacks.

 _Why are his attacks shaped like spears?_

 _*(Maybe Undyne taught him? I don't think you need an actual weapon to use magical attacks.)_

 _Or he's too simple to care. He and Greater Dog are the only royal guards I know that don't talk._

 _*(Smells like dog chow.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(You barely lifted your hand and Lesser Dog got excited.)_

Lesser Dog yips and tries to tackle me, but I manage to move out of the way.

 _Why is he trying to tackle me?_

 _*(He thinks your weapon is a dog treat.)_

 _I suppose I should get rid of it then._

I toss the stick behind myself so that I can retrieve it after the FIGHT, but Lesser Dog chases after it. I barely dodge him running past me to retrieve the stick. He brings the stick back to me, and I decide that this might at least be a good way to calm him down.

 _*(You threw the stick and the dog ran to get it. You played fetch for a while.)_

"(Tiny bark)"

 _*(Lesser Dog is really not paying attention.)_

 _It even forgot to attack._

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _You lightly touched the Dog. It's already very excited…_

"(Pant! Pant!)"

Lesser Dog tries to attackle me again, but I move to the side at the last moment and avoid his lunge.

 _*(Lesser Dog is barking excitedly.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _(You pet the Dog. It raises its head up to meet your hand.)_

"(Yip! Yip!)"

The dog's attackle falls short this time, so I don't even have to move.

 _*(Lesser Dog is yipping enthusiastically.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(You pet the Dog. It was a good Dog.)_

"(Excited noises)"

 _*(Lesser Dog is overstimulated.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(You pet the Dog. Its excitement knows no bounds.)_

"(Enthusiastic sounds)"

Lesser Dog seems to only want to try to tackle me now instead of hitting me with his magic, but I'd still rather not get thrown to the ground by a monster about twice my size.

 _*(Lesser Dog is overly excited.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(Critical pet! Dog excitement increased.)_

"(Passionate clamor)"

At this point, Lesser Dog finally stops attacking me.

 _*(Lesser Dog is excessively impassioned.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(You have to jump up to pet the Dog.)_

"(Motor revving)"

 _*(Lesser Dog has superfluous eagerness.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(You don't even pet it. It gets more excited.)_

"(Plane takeoff)"

 _*(Lesser Dog shows no signs of stopping.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(There is no way to stop this madness.)_

"(Kettle whistle)"

 _*(Lesser Dog shows no premonitions of halting.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(Lesser Dog enters the realm of the clouds.)_

"…"

 _*(There is no hint that Lesser Dog will cease.)_

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(You call the Dog, but it is too late. It cannot hear you.)_

"(Faraway bark)"

 _*(There is nothing to suggest Lesser Dog will finish in the near future.)_

At this point Lesser Dog's head seems to have bent sideways slightly.

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(…)_

"(…)"

 _*(It is unlikely that Lesser Dog will reach conclusion anytime soon.)_

I can now see Lesser Dog's head again. It apparently turned around to head [hah] back down to where I can reach its head.

ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet

 _*(You can reach Lesser Dog again.)_

"(Bark)"

 _*(Lesser Dog is lowering.)_

 _*(Frisk, I think we should move on before we give him more serious neck issues.)_

 _Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't be able to afford paying the medical bill for his neck realignment surgery anyway—not on_ my _allowance._

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)  
*(You earned 0 XP and 7 gold.)_

 _It's a good thing we had that thesaurus to change up some of the words in that last battle, or it would've been really repetitive and boring._

Now that I've had my fill of petting Lesser Dog, I flip the switch in the snow and head back and down to the now unblocked bridge. A short distance beyond that, I run into the dog couple.

"What's that smell?"

"(Where's that smell?)"

"If you're a smell…"

"(…identify yoursmellf!)"

The two dogs sniff around the area until they find where I am.

"Hmmm… Here's that weird smell… It makes me want to eliminate…"

"(Eliminate YOU!)"

A fight begins.

 _*(Dogi assault you!)_

ITEM→Stick

 _*(You threw the stick, and the dogs ran to get it.)  
*(You played fetch for a while.)_

"Let's kick human tail!"

"(Do humans have tails?)"

The dogi send out spinning circles of hearts at me. Half of the hearts are blue, so dodging them is effortless.

 _*(Every dog loves to play fetch!)_

 _That's a false stereotype, Chara._

 _*(No, it's a true stereotype.)_

 _What about dogs without legs?_

 _*(They like to watch.)_

 _Then why was the one at the park crying when it was watching the others play?_

 _*(It had dust in its eyes. Dogs can't cry for emotional reasons.)_

 _Maybe it was really upset about the dust?_

 _*(Now you're just being silly.)_

 _Right, cause before, I was totally serious._

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)  
*(You earned 0 XP and 40 gold.)_

"Weird smells can bring good things."

"(Friendly, fun fetch!)"

"Thanks, weird smell!"

"(It sure was fun to 'stick' together!)"

 _If I had known they'd be making malapropisms, I would've just pretended to be a puppy and pet them like last time._

 _*(You'd rather roll around in snow and mud while being attacked than listen to their fake puns?)_

 _Yes._

The fight ends, and the dog couple continue on their way, as do I. The next area has another "puzzle". I step on the two X's and then walk over the pressure plate to lower the spikes.

Papyrus is standing on the other side of where the spikes were.

"WHAT?! HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP? AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?"

 _Trap?_

 _*(The frozen spaghetti.)_

 _Oh, right. That._

"Papyrus, I'll obsess over how skeletons can eat later. For now, I'm afraid to say that I was unable to eat the dish, as you didn't provide a fork."

"OH, GOODNESS! SANS WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING THE UTENSILS."

 _Judging by his sentry station, it seems he only brought the condiments._

"PLEASE FORGIVE THIS MISTAKE. I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS, SHALL MAKE YOU MORE SPAGHETTI LATER."

"I know you will. Anyway, I'm going to start the next puzzle now."

I make sure to press the switch on a nearby tree as I approach the puzzle.

"YES, ABOUT THAT… HMMM… HOW DO I SAY THIS? YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE."

Looking at the puzzle, I notice that it is indeed shaped somewhat like a skull.

 _I guess it kind of looks like his face._

 _*(Sort of…)_

"UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND."

 _Then how did he move them to begin with? Is he making these up as he goes? Why did Sans need to "recalibrate" his puzzles if they're created from scratch?_

"NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT, AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND. I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM SAYING IS—"

*Click!*

Papyrus is interrupted when I step on the pressure plate and the puzzle deactivates.

"WHAT? IT'S SOLVED?! THIS THING MUST BE BROKEN. OR DID I LEAVE THE OVERRIDE SWITCH ON?"

I simply shrug and walk over the now lowered spikes on the other side of the puzzle. Papyrus rushes past me to ready the next puzzle.

 _Hmm, maybe that's how Toriel managed to get past those traps. There's likely a reset switch for the puzzles in the ruins as well. That also explains how monsters get over here without being stuck._

 _*(A little headcanon goes a long way to resolving mysteries.)_

I then notice that Sans is suddenly standing nearby, having appeared out of nowhere again.

 _*(Too late to be helpful, as always…)_

"...you must be really good at puzzles, huh? it's impossible for you to have seen this one before."

"Unlikely, sure, but I could have seen a very similar puzzle before."

"yeah, i guess that's true. you must be some sort of puzzle-loving genius on the surface."

"Well, I do know my way around a few logic gates, even if my redstone circuitry isn't top-tier."

He gets about as confused as I expected him to be.

"what?"

"Ah, never mind. I'll show it to you and Papyrus when we get to the surface."

"i look forward to it."

Sans walks away in the opposite direction from where the next puzzle is, though I know he'll still appear there when I walk over to it.

 _*(Do you think he trusts you?)_

 _Probably not, but the worst-case scenario is that he attacks us, and he only deals like one damage anyway, so I should be fine._

 _*(Don't forget about his karmic retribution.)_

 _I was actually trying really hard to do just that._

I continue forward, and as expected, Sans is standing with Papyrus on the opposite side of a floor screen.

"HEY! IT'S THE HUMAN! YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE! IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS!"

 _*(Not his greatest work, considering it's already broken down and the instructions are in chicken scratch.)_

"YOU SEE THESE TILES? ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR! EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION!"

"RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM!"

 _Yeah, Papyrus, I know what "impassable" means._

"YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC!"

 _Isn't the entire puzzle electric?_

"THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU!"

 _*(Will they now? How shocking…)_

 _Papyrus already made that pun, like, four puzzles ago._

 _*(Oh, I honestly didn't realize that was a pun.)_

"GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM, YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER!"

 _*(Fight a monster?! That's alarming!)_

 _I know you did that one on purpose._

 _*(Yes I did.) =Þ_

"ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE-SCENTED; THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL DELICIOUS!"

 _How does the color of the tile determine how it's scented?_

 _*(Magic.)_

 _So does that mean I'll be 'magically delicious'?_

"BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. SWIM THROUGH IF YOU LIKE,"

 _How do you swim through a colored tile?_

"BUT IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES, THE PIRANHAS WILL BITE YOU!"

 _Do piranhas like oranges?_

 _*(Can piranhas even smell?)_

 _How and why are there piranhas in a colored tile? Do they need to feed them? What do they feed them?_

"ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU!"

 _Wait, piranhas are freshwater fish, but freshwater doesn't conduct electricity, so are the blue tiles freshwater or saltwater?_

"PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! THEY MAKE YOU SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP SMELLS LIKE LEMONS, WHICH PIRANHAS DO NOT LIKE!"

 _Maybe they just hate baths._

"PURPLE AND BLUE ARE OK! FINALLY, PINK TILES. THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. STEP ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE."

 _They're pushovers like that._

"HOW WAS THAT? UNDERSTAND?"

Knowing that asking for clarification will just cause Papyrus to repeat the rules incorrectly, I simply reply, "Of course."

"GREAT! THEN THERE'S ONE LAST THING. THIS PUZZLE IS ENTIRELY RANDOM! WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! NOT EVEN I WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY...!"

 _Well, it can't be_ completely _random; otherwise it would often lack a solution._

I'm surprised when Papyrus pulls the switch on the machine and the tiles on the floor actually light up and start changing colors.

 _Didn't you say the machine was broken last time?_

 _*(It was. I don't know why it's working now.)_

 _I guess we'll just have to try to solve it._

The lights at last stop shifting into new colors, and the final puzzle is… a straight line of pink tiles.

…

 _*(…)_

 _I guess it really is broken._

Papyrus says nothing and instead just walks away.

I walk over to the other side where Sans is still standing.

"actually, that spaghetti from earlier wasn't too bad for my brother. Since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible."

"Don't get your hopes up, Sans; cooking just isn't his thing. He'd be much better as a preschool teacher."

"what makes you so sure?"

"His boundless enthusiasm and overt friendliness make him very good at dealing with children."

 _*(It also helps that he was raising part of the next generation of humans to be completely comfortable around monsters.)_

 _For all the good it did…_

"we don't really have a job like that open down here."

"Well, if one ever becomes available, make sure he at least considers it."

Sans just says, "i'll think about it," and then disappears behind a tree.

 _*(What was that about?)_

 _One of Sans's many concerns was how well his brother would fit into society when he fails to get into the royal guard. I was just trying to assure him that Papyrus has a place in the world that he can enjoy._

On to the next area, I see it has a sentry station and segments of snowdogs (dogs made out of snow, not the ones that pull sleds) scattered everywhere, some of which clearly defy physics.

 _It's a sideways L-shape with a top that is parallel with the ground; why hasn't it fallen down yet?!_

 _*(Magic?)_

 _That one literally loops in midair!_

 _*(Frisk, why do you ask questions you know you'll never have the answers to?)_

 _That's just how I roll._

 _*(Then get your tires replaced.)_

 _My tires are fine; it's my suspension that needs repair._

 _*(What suspension?)_

 _My suspension of disbelief._

I walk by the sentry station and touch the SAVE star.

 _*(Knowing that a disbelief repair shop garage can't be far away fills you with determination.)_

A deer-like monster name Faun is standing nearby and offers its opinion of the mess of sculptures.

"A dog just rushed in here, filled with inspiration. It kept trying to build a snowdog that expressed its own emotions, but as it built, it kept getting more excited about the sculpture, and its neck got longer and longer."

 _*(Whose neck, the dog's or the snowdog's?)_

 _Wait, that sounds like Lesser Dog. How did he get here before us if we didn't see him pass by?_

 _*(I guess he ran through the forest.)_

 _In that armor? I'm surprised he fit between the trees. And isn't there a sheer drop off on the hill before the trees?_

 _*(Who knows? Maybe he can teleport too.)_

"It added more and more snow, until…"

 _Even magically saturated snow has limits to what it can support._

"It was rather sad to watch, but I couldn't turn away."

"Couldn't you still close your eyes? Facing something doesn't mean you have to look at it."

"It was still more funny than sad to watch."

"*sigh* I bet it was."

Moving on, just before I get to the next puzzle, I notice that there's another path on my right. I had initially passed it by the first time I was here, but now I'm curious.

 _I wonder what's over there._

I get my answer after I follow it and arrive at a small patch of snow above a dark abyss.

 _Why does everything here have to be so high up?_

 _*(You realize that we're still underground, right?)_

Relative _height, Chara. A fall from here would kill me just as easily as if I fell from the top of the mountain itself. Well, it wouldn't kill me for good, but you know what I mean._

On the patch of snow are two snow sculptures. Well, one snow sculpture and a pile of snow with "sans" written on it.

 _At least you can tell it's his._

The snow sculpture next to the pile of snow is shaped in the likeness of a buff version of Papyrus.

 _*(He gave himself muscles. But… he's a skeleton…)_

 _He's probably imitating what he saw in some workout video from the dump._

I turn and go back to where I came to start the next puzzle. About 15 seconds later, the puzzle is completed and the bridge to the other side extends. I carefully slide down the narrow path of ice to the other side. Snow from one of the trees falls on my head on the way over. At the other side, I shake it off and turn right to go to where Gyftrot and Sans are. I ignore Sans's teleportation prank as I walk around searching for Gyftrot. It doesn't take long to run into him.

 _*(Gyftrot confronts you!)_

Gyftrot most closely resembles a reindeer, but with four tiny trees growing up from his antlers, a mouth that opens sideways, and two tiny eyes on the base of his antlers in addition to the two on his face.

 _Mouths that open up sideways are always creepy._

 _*(They_ are _rather off-putting.)_

 _Its weirdness is rivaled only by the amalgamates and Omega Flowey._

 _*(Still, that's no reason to decorate it without its consent.)_

 _Agreed._

ACT→Gyftrot→Check

 _*(GYFTROT 16 ATK 8 DEF)  
*(Some teens "decorated" it as a prank.)_

"Get this off of me…"

"Don't worry; I will."

Gyftrot is distrustful of me, but it decides the best way to tell if I'm honestly trying to help it is to launch present-shaped projectiles at me.

 _*(I question its method of judging character.)_

 _*(Gyftrot laments its lack of hands.)_

ACT→Gyftrot→Undecorate

 _*(You remove a childhood photograph of Snowdrake and his dad.)_

"That's a little better."

It's apparently not better enough though, as Gyftrot attacks me again.

 _*(What is with monsters and attacking people only trying to help them?)_

 _Maybe that's how they socialize, like how Pokémon battle?_

 _*(Pokémon aren't real, Frisk.)_

 _Monsters aren't supposed to be real either, yet here we are._

 _*(Gyftrot seems slightly less irritated.)_

ACT→Gyftrot→Undecorate

 _*(You remove the striped cane that says "I use this tiny cane to walk" on it.)_

"That's a little better."

Yet Gyftrot continues to attack.

 _*(You know, I was researching sharks the other day. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? Did you guess "sharks"? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is "nobody". Nobody but they are that pointlessly cruel.)_

 _You identify too much with that A.I._

ACT→Gyftrot→Undecorate

 _*(You remove a stocking filled with chicken nuggets.)_

"A weight has been lifted."

 _No kidding, these chicken nuggets feel like they're made out of lead… Wait…_

I take a closer look at the nuggets in the stocking and find that they _are_ made out of lead.

Gyftrot at last trusts me and stops his attacks.

 _*(Gyftrot's problems have been taken away_ _, along with his lead chicken nuggets_ _.)_

 _Well, I don't want to leave him with nothing._

ACT→Gyftrot→Gift

 _*(You give the cheapest gift of all: Friendship.)_

 _Uh, I was thinking we could give him something more than that._

 _*(Hey now, you aren't made of friendship!)_

 _Think more tangibly, Chara._

 _*(Oh, right.)_

 _*(You give 35 G because you can't think of an appropriate gift.)_

"Aw, you shouldn't have…"

 _And what would've been an appropriate gift?_

 _*(Friendship!)_

 _You're so cheap._

 _*(Well, at least one of us needs to be financially responsible!)_

 _You bought a deluxe custom order knife set for $200._

 _*(That was a necessity!)_

I roll my eyes while smiling and shaking my head.

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)  
*(You earned 0 XP and 20 gold.)_

Now that Gyftrot is taken care of, I go back and turn right to enter the area with the snow poffs. Greater Dog is hiding under the farthest one, but I still check the others to make sure there's nothing else waiting for me here.

 _*(It's a snow poff.)_

 _I know, I'm just checking for monsters._

I look at the next poff.

 _*(And this… is a snow poff.)_

 _Yes, honey, I see that._

At the next pile of snow:

 _*(This, however, is a snow poff.)_

 _You can't contrast two identical objects._

And another:

 _*(Surprisingly, it's a snow poff.)_

 _Yeah, that one really caught me off-guard._

Just a few left now.

 _*(Snow poff…)_

 _What? You couldn't think of anything for that one?_

 _*(Constant improv is hard, okay?)_

The next:

 _*(Is it really a snow poff?)_

 _I'm 60% sure it isn't a tractor, so we can at least comfortably cross that off as a possibility._

The second to last one before Greater Dog:

 _*(Behold! A snow poff!)_

 _See, this is what I love about you. You can always find entertainment even in the blandest places._

 _*(Oh, so I'm just a toy for your amusement?)_

 _Don't be silly. You have to pay to buy toys. I only needed to woo you with my masculine charm to turn you to my wicked ways._

 _*(So, what, you braved the horrors of the Underground, faced a self-proclaimed god, and freed an entire race of people just to seduce me?)_

 _Yes, and now that I have you, I no longer have to keep up this "innocent lost child" act I've had from the beginning. Well, the first beginning._

 _*(I can't believe I was so blind to your horrible machinations! If only I hadn't fallen into your evil trap!_

 _And now it's too late! Nothing can stop me now! Buwahahahaha!_

 _*(Hah. Don't let Sans catch you doing your evil laugh. He might get the wrong idea and think you're trying to take over the world.)_

 _Why would I want to rule the world?_

 _*(You could get anything you want, I guess.)_

 _Hm, that is tempting, but I already have everything I need. The only thing I want is for humans and monsters to live in peace. And you, of course._

 _*(Maybe you could spring for some less cheesy lines.)  
_

Looking in the final snow poff, I find something odd.

 _*(Eh? There's 30 g inside this one… What is this?)_

 _Maybe this is where Greater Dog keeps his money. I'd better leave it._

When I reach the final snow poff, I stop as it sprouts a tail. Then a head pops out the other side, and it gives an adorable "Yip! Yip!" as it wags its tail.

 _How is its tail sticking out there? That's not where it's attached to the rest of his body._

Greater Dog's tail remains at about the same level as the rest of his form rises out from the snow, revealing its large set of plate armor and a spear both roughly twice my height.

 _I still have no idea how he fits in that thing._

 _*(Or how he got it that deep into the snow.)_

 _Or back out._

The battle begins.

 _*(It's the Greater Dog.)_

ACT→Greater Dog→Check

 _*(GREATER DOG 16 ATK 8 DEF)  
*(It's so excited, that it thinks fighting is just play.)_

The greater dog starts by barking at me. Loudly. So loudly, in fact, that it knocks me back.

"Oof!"

 _*(Greater Dog is seeking affection.)_

 _Okay, how do I pet him again? From how high up he is compared to me, I'd just be petting the air if I tried now._

 _*(I think you have to call him over.)_

 _Right._

ACT→Greater Dog→Beckon

 _*(You call the Greater Dog. It bounds towards you with a great amount of momentum.)_

Now, bending down in front of a giant dog in plate armor and asking it to rush towards you may seem rather foolish, but it has two primary benefits that outweigh the discomfort of being thrown through several snow poffs, a few bushes, and someone's runaway pet rock. The first benefit is that the dog is now close enough to pet. The second benefit is:

 _*(That was hilarious!)_

 _Hah, I thought you might enjoy that. Ow, still, I hadn't intended to go quite that far. I probably could've regained my footing there if I didn't trip on that rock. At least we landed in a poff._

 _*(You okay?)_

 _I'll be fine. I've dedicated my life to comedy, and so I've accepted the responsibilities that come with it. He who lives by the slapstick shall die by the slapstick, often in an embarrassing position._

 _*(You've never really died in an embarrassing way before…)_

 _Chara, I've been killed by a washing machine! Both my dignity and my stains were washed away that day._

 _*(You're such a drama king.)_

 _*(Greater Dog is watching you intently.)_

ACT→Greater Dog→Pet

 _*(Greater Dog curls up in your lap as he is pet by you. He gets so comfortable that he falls asleep… Zzzzz… …Then he wakes up! He's so excited!)_

Somehow, his excitement is creating a power field that prevents petting.

 _*(Greater Dog puts his spear in his mouth to pat the ground with its front paws.)_

ACT→Greater Dog→Play

 _*(You make a snowball and throw it for the dog to fetch. It splats on the ground. Greater Dog picks up all the snow in the area and brings it to you. Now he is very tired and rests his head on you…)  
*(Greater Dog wants some TLC.)_

 _I don't think they get that channel down here._

Now that Greater Dog is tired, the power field around him dissipates. I take this opportunity to pet him before his defenses reactivate.

ACT→Greater Dog→Pet

 _As you pet the dog, it sinks its entire weight into you... Your movements slow, but you still haven't pet enough!_

 _*(Pet capacity is at 40%.)_

ACT→Greater Dog→Pet

I pet roughly 50% harder this time.

 _*(You pet decisively. Pet capacity reaches 100%. The dog flops over with his legs hanging in the air.)_

 _*(Greater Dog is contented.)_

MERCY→Spare

 _*(YOU WON!)  
*(You earned 0 XP and 40 gold.)_

After the FIGHT, Greater Dog leaps out of his armor and gives me a lick on the cheek before jumping back into his armor headfirst, leaving his butt exposed out of the top. Apparently undeterred by his inability to see in this posture, he, in his armor, turns around and leaves.

Ahead of me is the trail I made after being tackled through the snow. The runaway pet rock that tripped me earlier is still there. I decide to walk over to it and pick it up in order to look for a tag or collar that might indicate its owner.

 _Wait, this is Sans's rock!_

 _*(How can you tell it's his?)_

 _Just look at it! It looks just like his rock!_

 _*(O–kaaayy… If you say so…)_

 _I wonder how it got all the way out here. Hmm…_

 _*(Maybe he was taking it for a walk?)_

 _Since when does he bother to take his rock out for a walk? Anyway, we should return this to him._

I place Sans's rock into my inventory and head on forward. Before I cross the bridge up ahead, I make sure to wave directly at the hidden camera Alphys set up nearby. I smile just from imagining the confused and freaked-out look he likely had on his face from that.

 _*(Must you torture the poor lizard?)_

 _Aw, it's all in good fun. I'd also have yelled "Hi, Alphys!" if those feeds had audio. At least it's better than the first time around, when I peed into a bush that had a camera._

 _*(I still have no idea why he felt compelled to tell you about that afterwards.)_

 _It's a standing law of reality that he must always say_ the _most awkward thing possible to whomever he's speaking._

As I near the end of the incredibly long bridge, I see Papyrus and Sans standing at the other end ahead of me.

"HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!"

A giant flamethrower, a spiked ball on a chain, a ballista, a cannon, a bladed pendulum trap, and a dog hanging from a rope appear around the bridge section before me.

"WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE!"

"Wouldn't that just destroy the bridge itself?"

"I—ERM… HMM, YOU'RE RIGHT; IT WOULD. BUT THAT IS PART OF THE CHALLENGE! ANYWAY, EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN, AND ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY!?"

"Go ahead."

"I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!"

Despite his threat, the trap does not activate. I ask Papyrus, "Well? What's the holdup?"

"HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I'M... I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!"

Still nothing happens, and I'm getting impatient. I fold my arms and say, "That doesn't look very activated," while tapping my foot.

"WELL… THIS CHALLENGE SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD BEAT YOU TOO EASILY. YEAH! I CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR, AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED, BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL!"

 _*(And his job is to capture you, not kill you.)_

Papyrus comments, "AWAY IT GOES!" and the trap components retract.

"PHEW!"

I smile at Papyrus's antics.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!? THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS! NYEH! HEH!"

Papyrus gets distracted by something. It appears that he's looking at something near the other side of the bridge.

"…HEH?"

Whatever he saw disappears into the ground just as I turn to look. Papyrus doesn't seem too bothered by it, so I guess it wasn't too much of a concern.

The tall skeleton walks on ahead to prepare to ambush me just outside of town, leaving just me and Sans at the bridge. As I pass Sans, he says, "i don't know what my brother's going to do now."

"Heh, yeah, neither do I," I comment nervously as I rub the back of my neck.

"if i were you, i would make sure i understood blue attacks."

"I'm sure I'll be fine," I say as I walk on.

 _Papyrus isn't likely to kill me._

 _*(Yeah, I don't think he even has it in him to kill someone.)_

Unfortunately, Chara's comment reminds me of a grim event from my former past.

 _You wouldn't think he does, but then…_

I reach the town of Snowdin and think, _"I didn't think I had the capacity to kill either."_

* * *

 **Author's note:** Just so you guys know, if you have any comment about the story, you're free to leave a review and/or message me.


	5. Chapter 4: Snowdin Town

**The Only Reset**

 **Chapter 4: Snowdin Town**

* * *

" _I didn't think I had the capacity to kill either."_

 _*(Sorry! I didn't mean to bring up—)_

 _It's okay. It's not your fault._

 _*(But it_ was _my fault! If it wasn't for me—)_

 _You are not to blame for that! …I'm the one that killed him._

 _*(Frisk…)_

…

 _*(…you wanna talk about it?)_

 _Not now; I need to stay focused._

I shake off the haunting memories as I pass the "Welcome to Snowdin" sign and enter the town. Several homes, a small store, a bar & grill, a library, and an inn line the streets, but my first point of interest is the save star ahead of me. I walk up to it and feel my wounds heal as I touch it.

 _*(The sight of this friendly town again populated fills you with determination.)_

 _First thing's first, let's buy the items we'll need later from the store._

I walk into the store on my left and greet the large, anthropomorphic rabbit lady at the counter.

"Hiya! Welcome to Snowdin! I can't remember the last time I saw a fresh face around here. Where did you come from? The capitol?"

"Well, I came from _a_ capitol…"

"You don't look like a tourist. Are you here by yourself?"

"Oh, no, I'm here with someone else. She actually used to live in the capitol. We're just travelling to her old home now to visit her father, but as long as we're around, I'd like to see what this town has to do around here."

"Well, Grillby's has food, and the library has information…"

"Don't you mean 'librarby'?"

"Oh, you've heard of it? Yeah, they really need to fix that sign. Anyway, if you're tired, you can take a nap at the inn next door; my sister runs it. If you're bored, you can sit outside and watch those wacky skeletons do their thing. There are two of 'em… Brothers, I think. They just showed up one day,"

 _*(That sounds like Sans.)_

"and asserted themselves."

 _And that sounds like Papyrus._

"The town has gotten a lot more interesting since then."

"What was it like before then?"

"Think back to your history class… A long time ago, monsters lived in the RUINS back there in the forest. Long story short, we all decided to leave the ruins and head for the end of the caverns. Along the way, some fuzzy folk decided they liked the cold and set up camp in Snowdin."

 _And then a fire elemental, some rocks, a fish, and other definitely_ not _fuzzy folk also decided to live here for some unfathomable reason._

"Oh, and don't think about trying to explore the RUINS… The door's been locked for ages,"

 _It's not locked; it's just really heavy. Sure, it'd be difficult to open it from this side without a handle, but if you drill in something or use an adhesive or suction to pull on it, it'd be doable. You could also probably just blast the door down._

"so unless you're a ghost or can burrow under the door, forget about it."

 _Those options would work as well, but they have the flaw of being_ far _less entertaining._

"Okay, so, what do you have for sale?"

"I have some small snacks you can buy. If you want a warm sort of treat, I baked some cinnamon bunnies, 25 gold each. There're some Bisicles in the freezer in the back if you want something colder, 15 gold each."

 _By 'freezer in the back' does she just mean out the back door in the snow?_

"I also sell Tough Gloves and Manly Bandannas for 50 gold each. They can give you an edge in any toughness contest by making you look like a martial artist!"

"What if I just want to be a loose cannon cop that doesn't play by the rules?"

"You'd need sunglasses and a lollypop or sucker to pull that off, I'm afraid. A beard wouldn't hurt either."

 _*(You're more of a 'loosely canon cop that doesn't play by the rules of established lore' anyway.)_

"Darn. Oh well, I guess I'll settle for the Manly Bandanna and a Cinnamon Bunny then."

I hand over 75 gold and take the pastry and magically copied relic of a human child.

"Thanks for your purchase," the shopkeeper replies before waving goodbye and encouraging me to visit again later.

I wave back and say, "Bye! See you in a few hours!" before depositing the Mandanna into the storage box outside. My next destination is the inn next door to increase my SOUL's health before the battle with Papyrus, just in case.

 _I'm not sure why that kid drew abs on his bandanna._

 _*(Isn't it a little disrespectful for them to sell magical copies of the possessions of a dead child?)_

 _She probably doesn't know their origin. Besides, I doubt that the kid will mind, especially since we need one of the copies to—_

" _Ooph!_ "

My train of thought is interrupted when I am suddenly hit by a much too large snowball. The projectile easily knocks me off of my feet.

"Whoa! Hey!" shouts a young voice a short distance away.

Lifting myself out of the snow, I see a small group of monster children rushing towards me from out of the trees on the south side of town. The origin of the shout walks up to me as the others stand behind him.

"Hey, kid, you okay?"

"Urgh, yeah—yeah, I'm fine."

"Sorry about that. We didn't mean to hit you."

"It's okay. Just be a little more careful next time… and don't use snowballs the size of chairs."

"No problem! See yah!"

With that, he and the other children run off, one of them muttering "I told you that one was too big!" to another.

 _Some things never change._

 _*(Like that kid's aim.)_

Learning against a nearby signpost, I stand there and watch with a longing gaze as the children return to their game.

 _*(Frisk?)_

Chara snaps me out of my wistful staring after I spend a bit too long looking at the young monsters play their game.

 _Oh, sorry, what?_

 _*(Frisk…)_

Chara gives a mental sigh as she tries to find the right words.

 _*(Y-You know that I want some too, right? You know, eventually.)_

 _Yeah. It's just, with everything that had happened, we never really had the chance, but I don't mind. You're worth the wait._

 _*(God, I wish I could hug you right now…)_

 _Me too… It's like those long-distance phone calls all over again, huh?_

 _*(Heh, yeah…)_

…

 _*(We'll get through it.)_

 _We always have. Anyway, I should take a quick rest to reinforce my soul before our fight with Papyrus._

I continue to the "hotel" next door and enter. Inside, another large, anthropomorphic rabbit is standing at the counter. Her kit is standing nearby, muttering something about "maximum HP".

The lady at the counter greets me with, "Welcome to Snowed Inn, Snowdin's premier hotel!"

 _*(I don't think a spare bedroom counts as a hotel.)_

 _At least the name's more accurate than the advertising, even if it is a pun._

"One night is 80G."

"Sounds reasonable."

I hand over 80G to the innkeeper in exchange for a key and head upstairs. I settle in the bed and close my eyes…

…

 _Huh? Where am I?_

I'm not able to move around myself, but my view shifts from side to side unbidden anyway. I examine my surroundings, and it's clear I'm in a small graveyard of some sort. I see the stars in the sky, and I detect the distinct scent of the same kind of golden flowers I landed on when I first fell into the UNDERGROUND. I look down and see that I'm holding a child's body in my—paws? What's going on? Suddenly, I come to a tombstone and stop dead in my tracks and look upon the rock in horror.

 **Ector**

 **Luna _ David**

1973-20XX 1971-20XX

I recognize those names, and I suddenly realize exactly what I am seeing. I remember this, or rather, I remember Chara telling me about this. I had never pried about her past, but eventually, the trauma of the events became too much for her to hold in anymore. That's when I found her knocking at my door at 4:00 a.m. one night looking like she'd just seen visions of utter terror. I could see the tear stains on her face, and she was still wearing her sleepwear and slippers. Immediately filled with concern, I invited her inside and let her sit on the couch while I made some tea. When I returned with the drinks and sat down next to her, she took several deep breaths and then told me everything about her past, from before she fell into the UNDERGROUND to her death and merging with Asriel and the events above ground. This poor girl. She had suffered through so much… My heart was bleeding. I wrapped my arms around her to try to comfort her. This part of her story, the part I was now witnessing, was the hardest for her to choke out. I could feel all the pain, despair, and unbridled rage she put into this part of the story. Her entire world, the two people whom she most trusted to finally bridge the gap between monsters and humans and bring peace to both races were now dead in front of her, and she knew _exactly_ who killed them.

 _Those damn, bigoted, horrible townspeople!_ _ **Maybe**_ **they** _ **should be the ones underground!**_

My view turns towards the nearby town…

"Chara!"

I wake up in the hotel room, sweating and breathing hard.

 _*(Frisk?! Frisk, what's wrong?)_

 _I saw… I saw your parents' grave…_

 _*(Oh… Oh no…)_

 _Chara, I am_ so _sorry! That was terrible! And to find out like that…_

 _*(I'm sorry you had to see that, Frisk.)_

 _I'm sorry you had to_ live _through that, Chara. I… I need some air._

I get out of the bed and head downstairs to the lobby.

"Hiya! You look like you had a terrible time trying to sleep, but you were only up there for about an hour…"

"Er, yeah. I think I might still be a little too restless to get any sleep yet."

"Here's your money back. You can pay me if you're going to stay overnight."

I mutter, "T-thanks," to the rabbit lady as she hands me my money back before heading out the door.

 _*(You gonna be okay?)_

 _Yeah, I'm just a little… rattled from what I saw, I guess._

 _*(Maybe you should take some time to clear your head before you fight Papyrus.)_

 _That sounds like a good idea._

In the middle of the street is what appears to be a decorated Christmas tree with many presents under it. There's a bear monster placing an additional present under the tree as I approach.

I ask the bear, "What's with the tree?"

"Some awful teenagers tormented a local monster by decorating its tree-like horns, so we started giving that monster presents to make it feel better."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST GET THE TEENAGERS TO STOP?!"

"Well, we tried to talk to them…"

"Try harder!"

"…"

 _*(Some monsters are far too nonconfrontational for their own good.)_

 _Yeah, being nice isn't always the same as being good. It's better than the other extreme, but the monsters in Snowdin could still really use a better sense of Justice to counterbalance their Kindness. Undyne would never put up with that kind of behavior. Heck, even Alphys would probably have a few strong, if stuttering, words for those teenagers._

"*Ahem* Anyway, now, it's a tradition to put presents underneath a decorated tree."

 _How long has this been going on for it to become a tradition? Did every generation of teenagers do that, or are traditions generated that quickly?_

 _*(It wasn't uncommon for new holidays to spring up overnight. It helped keep spirits up.)_

"I guess it was a good thing those teens tormented that monster…?"

"That is completely the wrong lesson to take away from those events!"

The bear monster looks away sheepishly as I continue past the tree. An armless orange monster child with a line of flat spike plates running from his head to his tail is standing on the other side. The monster child notices and runs up to me.

"Yo! You're a kid too, right?"

"That's actually a complicated question, but physically, yes, I'm a kid."

"I can tell 'cause you're wearing a striped shirt."

"That logic doesn't really apply when the striped shirt in question is made of black and white horizontal lines and worn with matching pants, but sure."

"I wonder if that weird skeleton is an adult or a kid."

"He's an adult… a giant, innocent adult cinnamon roll."

Past the monster kid is the bar & grill, Grillby's. It appears to have five windows in the front with an "open" sign in the middle window, though this is an illusion only visible from the outside. Another ursine monster is standing in front of the building.

"You there! Who's in charge around here? I need to file a complaint about some abuse by teenagers against a local monster in the forest."

"This town doesn't have a mayor, but if there's ever a problem, a skeleton will tell a fish lady about it."

 _Which is, admittedly, often more effective than an actual mayor, if a bit judicially austere._

"Thaaaaaat's politics!"

 _I hate politics…_

 _*(You're an ambassador.)_

 _Which means I have to deal with politicians almost every day. Ugh…_

 _*(You don't have to take the job, you know.)_

 _And who would take my place? Papyrus and 'King Fluffybuns' are too kind-hearted, Alphys is too timid, Sans is too lazy, Toriel is terrible with political responsibility, MTT is a celebrity—which we have enough of in the political sphere as it is already, thank you very much—, the Royal Guardsmen would lose their own tails if they weren't attached to their butts, and Undyne would start ten different wars within five minutes of taking the job. The only other person who might be any good at being ambassador would be you, but you hate politics even more than I do!_

 _*(I wouldn't mind…)_

 _No, this is my responsibility. Besides, I have more experience anyway._

I go past the political bear and enter Grillby's. Inside, there's a small, orange monster that's about the same size and shape of my head with rabbit ears sitting on a table, a monster in the form of a mutant Venus fly trap with huge teeth sitting at the table behind it, a punk hamster with blonde hair sitting on a stool next to a broken jukebox, all the various Snowdin Royal Guardsmen playing poker at one table—with the exception of Lesser Dog, who is playing by himself—an ugly fish-man-thing and a large red bird creature both sitting at the counter, and the fire elemental bartender, Grillby, standing behind the counter.

 _*(Isn't Grillby a fire hazard to his own bar?)_

 _Nah, magical fire doesn't burn carbon like regular fire does. Building his new bar out of nonflammable materials on the surface just made the human patrons (and the fire deputy) feel better._

I walk up to the orange blob with bunny ears sitting on a table.

"I hope you washed your butt before you sat there, Koromon. Do you know how hard it is to clean things when you're mad of fire?" I joked.

"No matter where I go, it's the same menu and the same people…"

"You clearly haven't left Snowdin then."

"I want new drinks an' h-h-h-hot guys!"

"Again, try visiting Hotland if you want to find 'hot' guys. Grillby's from there."

"I guess the bartender is kind of h-h-h-hot…"

"See? There you go. If that fails, once you reach your next stage, you'll get fire breath. From there, you can light a regular guy on fire to _make_ him hot."

"That's a great idea!"

 _*(You're a terrible influence.)_

Leaving the crazy rabbit head to its machinations, I move on to the table behind it and ask the giant, pointy-toothed monster, "I don't suppose Grillby also sells human food, does he?"

"I don't know; isn't human food different from monster food? It does things like 'spoil'."

"Yeah, one time, I left milk in the fridge for too long, and the next time I opened it, it yelled, 'IT WAS HIS SLED!'."

"And when you eat it, it passes all the way through your whole body."

"Not the whole body, but it is an entire organ system."

"I've also heard they have things called 'bathrooms'."

"Yeah, it's where they put the excess physical matter of the food after all useful substances have been drained from it."

"Disgusting. I'd love to try it sometime."

"I'd imagine that'd be difficult for monsters with only one orifice."

 _Or, in his case, monsters that essentially_ are _one orifice._

 _*(How does that even work?)_

 _Monsters can dispose of unneeded physical matter from any part of their body since they're mostly made of magic._

 _*(Why do you know these things?)_

 _You'd be surprised how much research Alphys put into those kinds of things. He even wrote an entire paper about how a monster food diet affects humans._

 _*(That sounds like a waste of time that no one would want to read.)_

 _It was._

After I finish speaking to the monster with a giant mouth about various kinds of human foods, I go to the punk hamster in the corner to ask, "Is the jukebox still broken?"

"Afraid so, but what can you expect from a relic from the surface? Nobody here even knows how it works."

"I'm sure there's at least _someone_ in the capitol or Hotland that knows how it works."

"Ugh! The capitol! It's getting pretty crowded there, so I've heard some people going to start moving over here from there."

"There's only so much space to go around, especially since most of the bottom of this mountain is blocked by magma."

 _*(At least it's a viable energy source.)_

"Hmmm… I don't want to see the erasure of our local culture."

"Don't worry, you'd need a _lot_ more people to completely erase a culture."

"Yeah! And I definitely want to see some city slickers slip onto their butts!"

"That's the spirit!"

 _Ah, schadenfreude, the source of all slapstick comedy._

 _*(Are you quite finished corrupting the innocent monsters with your fiendish ideas?)_

 _Not by a long shot, hun._

Since I know Grillby isn't really one for conversation, I instead talk to his "translator", the large red bird monster.

"What's with the dogs playing poker?"

"Those dogs are part of the Royal Guard, the elite military group led by Undyne."

"Undyne? What's she like? And more importantly, is she immune to assimilation by the Borg?"

"She's rude, loud, and beats up everybody who gets in her way. It's no wonder all the kids want to be like her when they grow up!"

 _And you say_ I'm _a bad influence._

"Well, they're already picking on things that can't fight back, so I guess they're on their way."

I go up to Dogamny at the poker table and ask him who's winning.

"We're… not sure. None of us actually know how to play."

"…Okay, next question: why doesn't this table have any chairs?"

"It used to, but every time Greater Dog tried to sit in one, it broke. Now we all just stand so he doesn't feel left out. Speaking of which, you better watch where you sit down in here, kid, because that big guy WILL jump into your lap and give you lots of love and attention."

 _Watch where I sit down? That's a great idea! If only_ **some** _people would do the same thing…_

 _*(Oh, cram it! Why can't you just put the seat down when you're done?)_

 _Why can't_ you _just put the seat back_ up _when_ you're _done?_

As I leave Grillby's, I notice two monsters standing off to the side of the building. One is a mouse-like monster about my size with big round ears, a winter cap, heeled boots, and a green and light green striped scarf that covers every other part of its body other than its eyes. Despite the obfuscating scarf covering its face, I can tell that it's feeling really down.

"You seem troubled, stranger. Something bothering you?"

"Everyone is always laughing and cracking jokes, trying to forget our modern crises, dreariness, overcrowding, a lack of sunlight…"

"It could be worse. At least you're not trapped in a war against an evil cabal of wizards trying take over the world."

"That's an… oddly specific example."

I shrug and say, "Meh, I watch a lot of movies."

"Right, well, I would join them, but I'm just not very funny."

"At least you're not making bad puns."

The monster next to the mouse is an orange smiling monster with horns and a cloak of the same color. I get the feeling that this monster is also a little sad, but it's masking it much better. My suspicion is confirmed when it says, "We all know the underground has problems, but we smile anyway."

"Why?"

"We can't do anything, so why be morose about it?"

"That's one way to look at it, I guess."

"Smile, smile."

"Just make sure your face doesn't get stuck that way."

"Oh, I'm afraid I passed that point a _long_ time ago."

I head north at the intersection past the monsters outside of Grillby's. There, I find a small family of slimes. The dad slime is watching his kids play "Monsters and Humans".

"Ah, to be young again. The world sure felt boundless."

"Being a kid again ain't all it's cracked up to be."

 _*(It can't be_ that _bad.)_

 _Chara, we'll have to go through puberty again._

 _*(Oh god, you're right… And I got to skip part of mine last time…)_

 _You still can if you want._

 _*(No, I'd like to have a physical body sooner than that. As bad as that phase was, I liked being corporeal again more.)_

 _You just wanna have cuddles again._

 _*(Quiet you!)_

"You like to wander. You must be young."

 _That reasoning doesn't apply to vagrants or hobos._

"How old are you?"

"That's actually a matter up for debate. By birthdate, 10, mentally, 20, and cumulatively, either 38, 18, or 110, depending on how you look at it."

"Ah, yes. You kids like to pretend that you're so much more mature than you really are."

"I'm literally an adult in a child's body. Technically two adults…"

"Haha! You kids with your wild imaginations!"

I take the path east of the slime family and arrive at a fenced off area. Behind the fences is an outlet to a manufacturing facility carrying large blocks of ice on a conveyor belt from within. A wolf-like creature is throwing the ice from the belt into the stream.

 _Couldn't they just extend the conveyor to the stream itself? This seems needlessly wasteful and inefficient._

 _*(It's a government job.)_

 _Right, never mind._

Going back down to the main path in the town, I next head into the library. Inside is a monster that looks like Alphys behind the counter.

The librarian greets me with, "Welcome to the library. Yes, we know the sign is misspelled."

"Just cover up the second 'B'."

"We have someone working on it."

At the nearby table, there is one monster with what looks like a yellow rhinoceros head with an additional horn on the forehead, another monster next to it with its hair in a bun, and a third monster across from them that looks like, well, a Loox.

I go over to the table and ask, "So, you guys make Snowdin's newspaper?"

The yellow rhino responds first, "Yes! I love working on the newspaper! There's so little to report that we just fill it with comics and games."

"I guess that's better than filling it with rumors and gossip."

"I illustrate all of the comics myself, and yes, I give everyone huge, beautiful eyes and giant muscles."

Confused, I ask, "Including monsters without eyes?" to which it happily replies, "Yep!"

I look over at the monster with a bun and ask, "What do you do for the paper?"

"*cough* When I was younger, my teachers gave me word searches when they ran out of assignments."

"Mine just put on a video of something on the TV."

"I thought they were a waste of time, but look at me now; I'm the number one word-search creator in the entire underground!"

"About that… I think you may have accidentally put the first line of the puzzle as one of the words to find on this one," I say as I take out the word search puzzle.

"No, that wasn't an accident."

"Ah…"

I notice the eyeball monster staring at me.

"Um, do I have something on my face?"

"That look in your eyes…"

"You mean the glowing? Yeah, all hu—I mean—all people like me have glowing eyes."

"No, it's just… You're the kind of person that has difficulty giving straight-forward answers, aren't you?"

 _It seems that Sans has been spreading vile, malicious rumors about me._

I decide that I'm now ready to fight Papyrus, so, after returning to touch the SAVE star one more time, I head east out of town to face him. A localized snow storm picks up in the area. As I traverse the blizzard, I see a silhouette materialize a few yards in front of myself. Papyrus dispels the veil of snow he conjured from the area.

 _He sure does like his dramatic entrances._

"HUMAN, ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. SOMEHOW, I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE AN OLD FRIEND, EVEN THOUGH I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY MET YOU BEFORE!"

"I'm sure there's a completely reasonable, non-time travel-based explanation for that. Don't lose your head thinking about it."

"I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY I FEEL THIS WAY…"

"Just say it's some residual space-time quantum particles or some technobabble like that."

"DID I MEET YOU ONLINE?"

"Unless you've met someone with the username 'Pacifighter21XX', that's unlikely."

"HMM, I MIGHT HAVE… I HAVE MANY 'SOCIAL MEDIA CONNECTIONS'. IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF THEM ALL."

 _*(I don't think making multiple accounts be friends with each other counts.)_

"JUST A DOZEN MORE, AND I'LL FINALLY REACH DOUBLE DIGITS!"

 _He has negative two social media connections?_

 _*(Maybe he's counting the ones that have blocked him as negatives.)_

"…HEY, WAIT A SECOND!"

One second later, he continues, "YOU CAN'T BE MY FRIEND! YOU'RE A HUMAN!"

"That's speciest."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ALMOST TRICKED ME INTO NOT DEFEATING YOU!"

"There's no 'almost' about it. You've had multiple opportunities to capture me before now."

"I HAVE? WHOOPSIE DOOPSIE! WELL, NO LONGER! NOW I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL CAPTURE YOU!"

The battle begins.

 _*(Papyrus blocks the way!)_

ACT→Papyrus→Check

*(ATK 20 DEF 20)  
*(He likes to say: "Nyeh heh heh!")

"Nyeh heh heh!"

 _*(Told you.)_

Several small bone-shaped attacks fly by me harmlessly.

 _*(Papyrus is preparing a bone attack.)_

 _I'd like to do the same thing for you._ _;)_

 _Is now really the time for this, Frisk?_

 _What? I can't help but flirt with the most beautiful girl on the planet._

 _I'm a fragmented soul of a fused monster with no physical body._

"You're still beautiful to me."

"WHAT?! FL-FLIRTING?!"

 _What?_

I then hear Chara burst out laughing as she exclaims, " _*(You said that out loud, Frisk!)"_

 _I did?!_

"SO, YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR **ULTIMATE FEELINGS**!"

 _Oh no…_

W-WELL! I'M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!

I try to back out of the awkward situation that I have suddenly found myself in.

"Um, Papyrus, I think I may have given you the wrong idea…"

"OH-HO? PLAYING HARD TO GET? WELL THEN, HUMAN, I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!"

 _It seems a simple challenge is all it takes for him to forget about his "high standards"._

"I SHALL WOO YOU WITH A ROMANTIC DATE THE LIKES OF WHICH I'VE NEVER SEEN!"

"Uh, don't you mean 'the likes of which _I've_ never seen'?"

"WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT LIKES OF ROMANTIC DATES YOU'VE SEEN, BUT I'M CERTAIN THE ONE I USE TO WOO YOU WILL BE COMPLETELY NEW TO ME!"

Papyrus then suddenly remembers what he was doing here in the first place.

"LET'S DATE L-LATER! AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!"

Chara is still too busy laughing to comment on the battle.

 _Okay, nope! Just nope. Not going to deal with this. I'm LOADing now._

 _*(Hahah, aww, but I wanted to see you go on a date with him!)_

 _No way, I'm done. Let's go back._

 _*(Aw. Okay, fine…)_

 **LOADING…**

…

…

…

 **LOAD FAILED**

 _Ch-chara?_

 _*(What? Aren't you going to LOAD?)_

 _It failed…_

 _*(What?!)_

 _The LOAD failed!_

I start panicking as Papyrus sends another volley of bone-shaped attacks harmlessly around me. He notices my clear distress but misinterprets the cause.

"HUMAN, THERE'S NO CAUSE FOR ALARM! IF YOU'RE THAT SCARED, THEN I SHALL ALLOW YOU TO MAKE THE FIRST REAL ATTACK NOW THAT I AM WARMED UP! OR ARE YOU PERHAPS NERVOUS ABOUT OUR UPCOMING DATE? FEAR NOT! FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL GO EASY ON YOU DURING OUR ROMANTIC EXCURSION!"

 _*(Frisk, deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out.)_

I follow her directions and start to calm down a little.

 _*(It's okay. You don't need to LOAD. You've had years of practice dodging attacks, and if all else fails, you can always just RESET back to the start.)_

 _Y-you're right. I'm fine. I always have that safety net if I need it._

"WELL, HUMAN? I AWAIT YOUR FIRST ATTACK."

MERCY→Spare

"Papyrus, I'm not going to FIGHT you."

"YOU WON'T FIGHT? THEN LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY FABLED 'BLUE ATTACK!'"

Papyrus launches a huge volley of light blue attacks. As they pass harmlessly through me, I feel my soul being oversaturated with blue magic. My normally weightless soul suddenly falls to the ground.

"YOU'RE BLUE NOW. THAT'S MY ATTACK! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

 _I will say, the diversionary light blue attacks are pretty clever. It also keeps the targeted soul in place while blue magic is being funneled into it._

 _*(Admire his tactics later, Frisk.)  
*(You're blue now.)_

MERCY→Spare

Papyrus's attacks are now much more difficult to avoid, but my soul is able to summon enough power to jump over the incoming attacks. The battle is made worse by the fact that Papyrus thinks I'm attracted to him. Chara, however, finds the awkward situation I'm in hilarious and continues to comment on our upcoming "date".

 _*(Papyrus is thinking about what to cook for his date.)_

 _Right, because he has_ so _many options. Spaghetti is literally the only thing he knows how to cook, and he hasn't even been taught how to do_ that _right._

MERCY→Spare

"HMMM… I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD WEAR…"

 _*(Papyrus is thinking about what to wear for his date.)_

 _Honey, I think I could've figured that one out by myself._

MERCY→Spare

"WHAT!? I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT DATE THING!"

 _*(He totally is.)_

MERCY→Spare

"YEAH! DON'T MAKE ME USE MY **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

 _*(Papyrus dabs some Bone Cologne behind his ear.)_

 _He did what now?_

MERCY→Spare

I CAN ALMOST TASTE MY FUTURE POPULARITY!

 _*(Papyrus dabs MTT-Brand Cute Anime Attraction Yogurt™ behind his ear.)_

MERCY→Spare

"PAPYRUS: HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"

 _*(Papyrus dabs marinara sauce behind his ear.)_

 _Now you're just making things up!_

MERCY→Spare

"PAPYRUS: UNPARALLELED SPAGHETTORE!"

 _*(Papyrus realizes he doesn't have ears.)_

 _It took him less time to realize that than I thought it would._

MERCY→Spare

"UNDYNE WILL BE REALLY PROUD OF ME!"

 _Or, if not proud, at least completely surprised._

MERCY→Spare

" **THE KING** WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY SMILE!"

 _He'd actually do his entire head._

MERCY→Spare

"MY BROTHER WILL… WELL, HE WON'T CHANGE VERY MUCH."

 _Meh, he at least gets a bit less apathetic after a while._

MERCY→Spare

"I'LL HAVE LOTS OF ADMIRERS! BUT WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU?"

 _I know at least one person will if his kids are anything to go by._

"SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS REALLY RARE…"

 _*(Damn right he is!)_

MERCY→Spare

"AND DATING MIGHT BE KIND OF HARD AFTER YOU'RE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY."

"Especially since I'd be dead. Trust me, dating someone that's dead isn't easy."

 _Though it's worth it for some._

 _*(Aww.)_

"URGH… WHO CARES?! GIVE UP!"

MERCY→Spare

"GIVE UP OR FACE MY **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

MERCY→Spare

I tell Papyrus to hit me with his best shot, but he seems reluctant to actually use his special attack and continues to use his normal attacks instead.

"YEAH! VERY SOON I WILL USE MY **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

MERCY→Spare

"I'm ready."

Papyrus makes another normal attack.

"NOT TOO LONG AND I WILL USE THAT **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

MERCY→Spare

"Still waiting…"

More normal attacks come at me. I get hit a few times, but it's nothing serious.

"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE BEFORE MY **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

MERCY→Spare

" **Just use it already!"**

It is at this point that I realize that Papyrus had been gathering magical energy around himself for the last few turns in preparation for his special attack.

"BEHOLD! MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"

Instead of being blasted by Papyrus's special attack, I hear a fizzling sound as his spell fails. Papyrus is at first confused until he notices a little dog holding a special bone nearby.

"WHAT THE HECK?! THAT'S MY SPECIAL ATTACK! HEY! YOU STUPID DOG! DO YOU HEAR ME?! STOP MUNCHING ON THAT BONE! HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"

The dog runs off into the forest with Papyrus's special attack before the skeleton can catch him.

That's a relief. I was afraid the dog wouldn't show up in time if I wasn't already defeated by Papyrus once. As nice as his shed is, I still don't enjoy being beaten into unconsciousness.

"OH WELL, I'LL JUST USE A REALLY COOL REGULAR ATTACK. NEH HEH *SIGH*… HERE'S AN ABSOLUTELY NORMAL ATTACK."

Papyrus focuses a great deal of concentration using the energy he's gathered in his "absolutely normal" attack. The constant stream of blue magic keeping my soul down weakens slightly during this attack, and I'm eventually able to jump up far higher and longer than I could earlier in the FIGHT. This allows me to dodge his extra‑large projectile.

"WELL…! *HUFF* IT'S CLEAR… YOU CAN'T! *HUFF* DEFEAT ME! YEAH! I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS! THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY! I WILL **SPARE** YOU, HUMAN! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY **MERCY**."

MERCY→Spare

The battle ends, and Papyrus looks away, defeated.

"NYOO HOO HOO…"

 _He even has a different crying sound._

"I CAN'T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU…"

*(Oh, Pap, if only you knew…)

"UNDYNE'S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME."

 _I don't think her expectations of his ability to deal with the asperities of actual combat were high enough for her to ever be disappointed in him._

"I'LL NEVER JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD,"

 _*(That's probably for the best.)_

"AND MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT!"

"I'll be friends with you."

 _And nothing more…_

"REALLY!? YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS, WITH ME?"

"Sure!"

"WELL THEN… I GUESS… I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR YOU!"

There's _his usual confidence._

"WOWIE! WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD OUR FIRST DATE, AND I'VE ALREADY MANAGED TO HIT THE FRIEND ZONE!"

I internally face-palm.

 _How did he ever get a date again?_

 _*(You'll have to ask his spouse later.)_

"WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM?"

I externally face-palm.

 _*(Did he just call his own puzzles 'awful'?)_

 _Maybe he meant the word-search._

"YOU TAUGHT ME A LOT, HUMAN."

 _That's… that's only one thing, Papyrus…_

"I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS THROUGH! I'LL ALSO GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SURFACE. CONTINUE FORWARD UNTIL YOU REACH THE END OF THE CAVERN."

 _The cave doesn't technically end there, it just gets much larger._

"THEN, WHEN YOU REACH THE CAPITAL, CROSS **THE BARRIER** , THE MAGICAL SEAL TRAPPING US ALL UNDERGROUND."

 _Did Asgore name "The Barrier" too?_

"ANYTHING CAN ENTER THROUGH IT, BUT NOTHING CAN EXIT EXCEPT SOMEONE WITH A POWERFUL SOUL."

 _Or a soul and a half._

 _*(With a 5:1 human to monster ratio, but it works.)_

"SOMEONE LIKE YOU! THAT'S WHY THE KING WANTS TO ACQUIRE A HUMAN. HE WANTS TO OPEN THE BARRIER WITH SOUL POWER."

 _Because blues power and jazz power aren't strong enough._

"THEN WE MONSTERS CAN RETURN TO THE SURFACE! OH, I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU, TO REACH THE EXIT, YOU WILL HAVE TO PASS THROUGH THE **KING'S CASTLE.** **THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS…** **HE IS…** **WELL…** HE'S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER!"

 _*(Though I don't recommend that you actually push him over. He can suffocate any nearby children he lands on with his giant fur.)_

 _I doubt he put his full weight on you, Chara._

 _*(Well it_ felt _like he did!)_

 _From the perspective of an eight-year-old._

"EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY."

 _Even Toriel, even if she doesn't want to accept that yet._

"I AM CERTAIN IF YOU JUST SAY, 'EXCUSE ME, MR. DREEMURR, CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?' HE'LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF!"

 _And then stab me with his trident._

"ANYWAY! THAT'S ENOUGH TALKING! I'LL BE AT HOME BEING A COOL FRIEND!"

 _Good, I think he's forgotten about the whole 'date' thing._

 _*(Aww…)_

"FEEL FREE TO COME BY AND HAVE THAT DATE!"

 _*(Hurray!)_

 _Quiet, you!_

"NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Papyrus runs back to Snowdin, eager to begin his date.

 _I guess I still need to go over and sort this out._

I turn around and head back to Snowdin. When I get there, Papyrus already waiting for me by his house.

"SO, YOU CAME BACK TO HAVE A DATE WITH ME!"

"Actually, I wanted to expl—"

"YOU MUST BE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS! I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE REALLY SPECIAL… A PLACE WHERE I LIKE TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME!"

"Your cardboard sentry station?"

"EVEN BETTER!"

Papyrus then leads me in a large circle around the street back to where we started.

"MY HOUSE!"

 _*(Did he have to go in a circle just to take you inside?)_

 _I suppose. You can't technically take someone somewhere if they're already there before you travel together._

I head inside Papyrus's house. The lower floor is furnished with a couch, a TV, a sock with several sticky notes attached to it, an end table with a book on it, a large dining table (oddly without chairs), and a kitchen with a stove, a fridge, and an oversized sink. The upper floor has a hallway connecting to two rooms, one on the left and one on the right. The most noticeable feature is the fact that the house is a bit larger on the inside than it is on the outside, more so than most other buildings in the Underground.

"WELCOME TO SCENIC MY HOUSE! ENJOY AND TAKE YOUR TIME!"

I notice that the dining table has a plate with sprinkles on it.

"What's with the plate?" I ask as I motion towards the table.

"OH, THAT IS WHERE MY BROTHER NORMALLY KEEPS HIS PET ROCK, THOUGH IT SEEMS TO BE MISSING RIGHT NOW…"

"Maybe Sans is taking it out for a walk?"

Papyrus looks off to the side and mutters, "IT'S MORE LIKELY THAT IT RAN AWAY THAN MY BROTHER ACTUALLY TOOK CARE OF HIS PET…"

 _Considering the one of the rocks in the RUINS can move, it's not entirely implausible that it did just that. Anyway, I'll return the rock to Sans later. I don't want Papyrus to think I kidnapped their pet._

"So, what do we do now?"

"WELL, IF YOU'RE FINISHED LOOKING AROUND, WE COULD GO UP TO MY ROOM AND DO… WHATEVER PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY DATE."

"Uhh, sure, let's do that."

"OKAY!"

Papyrus rushes into the door on the left side of the second floor to prepare himself.

 _I'm kind of nervous about this "date". What if I hurt his feelings?_

 _*(If you're nervous, just imagine everyone else naked.)_

 _Can't I settle for imagining one person naked?_

 _*(That better not be me… Actually, that better not be anyone other than me.)_

I go inside Papyrus's room and close the door. His room is also spatially warped compared to the structure of his house, most of it being left of the door to the room. He has a computer on a desk, again without a chair, a closet, a bookshelf filled with books, a pirate flag mounted on the wall, a table covered with action figures, a box full of bone-shaped magical augments, and a car-shaped bed.

"SO, UM… IF YOU'VE SEEN EVERYTHING, DO YOU WANT TO START THE DATE?"

"Sure."

"OKAY! DATING START!"

Chara is equally excited.

 _*(DATING START!)_

"HERE WE ARE! ON OUR DATE! I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. BUT DON'T WORRY! YOU CAN'T SPELL 'PREPARED' WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME!"

Papyrus then pulls out a book.

"I SNAGGED AN OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK FROM THE LIBRARY!"

 _Okay, no. If he has an actual guidebook for dating, he might try to do something inappropriate. I do_ _ **not**_ _want him to try to kiss me, even without lips._

"Papyrus, stop. If we're going to do this, we're not calling it a "date".

Papyrus doesn't seem upset by this; in fact, he looks slightly relieved.

"HMM, WHAT ABOUT A 'HANG OUT' BETWEEN FRIENDS?"

"That sounds acceptable."

"WONDERFUL!"

Papyrus puts away the dating guide and pulls out another book.

"BECAUSE I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE AN OFFICIAL HANGING OUT GUIDEBOOK TOO!"

"I admire your level of preparation."

 _*(There's no way he had time to get those from the library in the time between the end of your FIGHT and when we met him back in front of his house.)_

 _I have little doubt that he carries those books with himself at all times anyway._

"WE'RE READY TO HAVE A GREAT TIME!"

Papyrus opens the book and looks for the right page.

"LET'S SEE… 'STEP ONE: PRESS THE [C] KEY ON YOUR KEYBOARD FOR THE 'FRIENDSHIP HUD'.'"

Papyrus walks over to his computer in the corner of his room and presses the 'C' key, but nothing appears to happen.

"Uh, Papyrus, I think you're in the 'online hangout' section."

"WOOPSIE DOOSIE! THIS IS THE CHAPTER FOR THE UNDERNET'S FACESPACE™ SITE!"

 _*(Why is there a section dedicated to a social media's platform?)_

 _I think they sponsored the book's publication. Some initiative to get kids to read called, "My Book"._

"LET ME FIND THE OFFLINE CHAPTER. HERE IT IS! 'STEP ONE: FIND SOMEONE TO HANGOUT WITH.'"

Papyrus briefly glances over the book at me.

"THAT WAS EASY! 'STEP TWO: ASK THE PERSON TO HANGOUT.'"

Papyrus puts his book down to address me properly this time.

"*AHEM* HUMAN, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WISH TO HANG OUT WITH YOU. DO YOU ACCEPT?"

"Does it have instructions for if the person says no?"

"FORTUNATELY, IT ONLY SAYS TO ASK!"

"Ah… Well, then I suppose I'll say yes anyway."

"WONDERFUL! ON TO STEP THREE! 'STEP THREE: PUT ON NICE CLOTHES TO SHOW THAT YOU CARE!'"

Papyrus stops as he suddenly comes to a realization.

"WAIT A SECOND. 'WEAR CLOTHING'… YOU'RE WEARING CLOTHING RIGHT NOW! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT YOU WERE ALSO WEARING CLOTHING EARLIER TODAY! COULD IT BE? YOU'VE WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH ME FROM THE VERY BEGINNING?!"

"No, I always wear clothes when in public."

 _*(What about that one time you—)_

 _That doesn't count!_

"DESPITE THAT, YOU CHOSE TO WEAR CLOTHING TODAY, OF ALL DAYS?"

"No, humans just have to wear separate clothes because we can't magically reshape our bodies to have them on at all times."

"WAS YOUR FRIENDSHIP PREDESTINED?!"

"I don't believe in destiny."

"N-NOOOO! YOUR **FRIENDSHIP POWER**!"

The tension in the room increases, but Papyrus quickly recovers.

NYEH! NYEH HEH HEH! DON'T THINK YOU'VE BESTED ME YET! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT HANGING OUT, AND I NEVER WILL!"

Does Papyrus not hang out with Undyne? She sounds like the kind of person that would've beaten Papyrus at an abstract and noncompetitive activity.

"I CAN EASILY KEEP UP WITH YOU! YOU SEE, I, TOO, CAN WEAR CLOTHING! IN FACT, I ALWAYS WEAR MY "SPECIAL" CLOTHES UNDERNEATH MY REGULAR CLOTHES!"

"So do humans, but there's no way I'm showing you mine."

 _*(That's not until at least the third date.)_

 _You're enjoying this situation far too much._

"BEHOLD!"

Papyrus then pulls off most of his current attire to reveal his "special" clothing. Under his "battle body" is a shirt with "COOL DUDE" written on it, along with the tiny basketballs that support for his shoulder plates. Under his boots are regular shoes, and out of nowhere he is suddenly wearing a backwards baseball cap.

"NYEH! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY SECRET STYLE!?"

"I have no strong feelings one way or the other."

 _*(Filthy neutral)_

"NO!"

 _I hope I didn't hurt his feelings…_

 _*(As if you'd fudge the truth just to spare someone's feelings.)_

"YOUR HONESTY! IT SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU REALLY CARE!"

 _Ah, right, Papyrus always looks at the positive side of a situation._

"HOWEVER, YOU DON'T TRULY UNDERSTAND THE **HIDDEN POWER** OF THIS OUTFIT!"

 _If I did, then it wouldn't really be a "hidden" power._

"THEREFORE, WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS INVALID! THIS HANG-OUT WON'T ESCALATE ANY FURTHER! …UNLESS YOU FIND MY **SECRET**! BUT THAT WON'T HAPPEN!"

"Is it about your hat?"

"MY HAT…? MY HAT. MY HAT! W-WELL THEN… YOU FOUND MY SECRET! I SUPPOSE I HAVE NO CHOICE!"

Papyrus lifts his hat up to reveal a small giftwrapped box.

"IT'S A PRESENT… A PRESENT J-JUST FOR YOU!"

*(Again, how did he have time to make and wrap that before we got back here?)

"Papyrus hands me the wrapped box from his head."

"GO AHEAD! OPEN IT!"

I open the present to find a fork inside.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?"

"It's a fork."

"CORRECT! NOW, SHOULD YOU EVER HAPPEN BY A PLATE OF DELIOUS SPAGHETTI, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO EAT IT EVEN WITHOUT A UTENSIL BEING PROVIDED!"

I smile at Papyrus's thoughtfulness.

"Thank you, Papyrus. I'm certain this will be useful to me in the future."

"A GENUINE COMPLIMENT! YOU MUST REALLY LOVE MY GIFT, AND BY EXTENTION, ME! HUMAN. IT'S CLEAR NOW. YOU'RE COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH ME. EVERYTHING YOU DO. EVERYTHING YOU SAY. IT'S ALL BEEN FOR MY SAKE."

 _If he wasn't such a giant softie, his ego would truly be infuriating._

"HUMAN. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TOO. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS."

 _Oh, god, please no._

"IT'S TIME THAT I TOLD YOU. I, PAPYRUS…"

 _*(The Great)_

"HMM… WELL, I'M FLATTERED YOU CARE SO MUCH, BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD COOL IT A LITTLE BIT…?"

 _Oh thank god!_

"YOU ARE A VERY NICE PERSON."

 _Hah, no, I'm not. I'm generally kind, but I'm not 'nice'._

 _*(What's the difference?)_

 _Kindness is compassion for others. Being nice means that you have an aversion to conflict._

 _*(I guess that's true. You've never been one to back away from a fight when it's needed.)_

"I'M GLAD WE'RE FRIENDS, BUT I THINK YOU CAN REACH YOUR MAXIUM POTENTIAL IF YOU LIVE MORE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, RATHER THAN JUST FOR MINE."

 _*(Aww, he's letting you down easy.)_

 _Shut-up, Chara!_

"HMMM… HEY, I KNOW THE SOLUTION! YOU SHOULD HANG OUT WITH MY BOSS, UNDYNE! I THINK THAT IF YOU SPREAD YOUR FRIEND ENERGY OUT MORE, YOU'LL HAVE A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE!"

 _Being friends with Undyne is actually rather bad for one's health. I can only imagine what it's like for her boyfriend._

 _*(Probably as crazy as being_ your _girlfriend.)_

 _Hey!_

 _*(And I enjoy every minute of it.)_

 _Aww._

"YEAH! LET'S BE FRIENDS WITH UNDYNE!"

Papyrus starts to leave, but then remembers something and turns back to tell me, "OH, AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO REACH ME, HERE'S MY PHONE NUMBER," and gives me a piece of paper with his phone number on it. I quickly enter the number into my phone.

"YOU CAN CALL ME ANY TIME! _PLATONICALLY_."

 _*(O, whoa has befallen this poor soul, whose affection for his true love is unrequited!)_

 _Shut_ _ **up**_ _, Chara._

"WELL, GOTTA GO! NYEH HEH HEH!"

 _Okay… well, that was mortifying._

 _*(I'm going to have teasing material for weeks.)_

 _I'm glad at least one of us enjoyed that. Still, that's not something I ever want to have to go through again._

I leave Papyrus and Sans's house and go back to touch the SAVE star at the other end of town again. Even if I can't LOAD, I still want to make sure my soul is fully healed. On the way back, I notice something amiss.

 _Wait, where's Monster Kid?_

 _*(What?)_

 _Monster Kid. He should be getting ready to go see Undyne._

I notice the group of kids playing nearby and decide to ask them if they know where Monster Kid is.

"Hey, have any of you guys seen Brach? We were going to go see Undyne together."

"Who?"

"Uh, the little armless kid."

"Oh, we just call him 'Monster Kid'. I think his parents are making him stay inside. Something about rumors of a human."

"What?"

"Yeah, my parents say his are just being a pair of noids, whatever those are."

"Oh… okay… th-thanks."

I leave the kids again as I consider the current situation.

 _Well, this run hasn't gone so well. Sans is suspicious, Monster Kid ran is grounded, and I have no idea how I'm going to get past Undyne without him._

 _*(So then, what now?)_

 _Honestly, I think we should start over. There just too much that's changed for me to rely on the same outcome._

 _*(Okay, if you think it's best, RESET.)_

 _See you back on the other side._

 **RESETTING…**

…

…

…

 **RESET FAILED**

… _Um, Chara…_

 _*(Oh no, don't tell me…)_

 _I can't reset either!_

This is _not_ good. Even in the past, my SAVE file is still corrupted. My one advantage when going through the Underground the first time was my ability to come back if I messed up or died. Now, with that gone, all I have left is what I had learned since then.

 _It seems that no matter what happens now, no matter what mistakes I make, this will be my only reset._

* * *

 **Author's note:** Yay! It's done! And it only took about a week! …plus one year. *cough* Anyway, I finally added some stakes! Maybe now there will be some sort of narrative tension. The annoying part about writing backstories in a mystery is that you can't use the entire thing all at once. By the way, if you're interested in how magic works in this universe or how they relates to their corresponding virtues, I'm about to upload a bit about that into Alphys's Research Notes.


End file.
